Bassy Kutten, a brave speaker and advocate who grew up in New Square, opens up about her journey from trauma to healing. She discusses the emotional challenges of addressing childhood abuse and the crucial role of therapy in self-acceptance. The conversation dives into cultural silences surrounding abuse, especially within Jewish communities, and the importance of brave voices in driving change. Bassy also explores the impact of spirituality and community support in healing, making for a compelling discussion on resilience and the necessity of breaking cycles of silence.
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Bassy's Childhood Trauma
Bassy Kutten grew up in New Square, a very closed, Hasidic community with extreme modesty rules.
She experienced sexual abuse by family members during childhood but was dissociated and unaware of the full extent until adulthood.
insights INSIGHT
Memory Doubt in Abuse Survivors
Survivors of abuse often doubt their memories because trauma is stored differently in the brain and body.
This creates confusion about whether the abuse really happened, complicating the healing process.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Struggles Post-Childbirth
After having three children close together, Bassy’s mental health deteriorated due to unresolved trauma from childhood abuse.
She felt responsible for others' well-being at her own expense, leading to anxiety and difficulty functioning.
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This book combines personal stories and professional insights to guide readers on their healing journey. It focuses on cultivating hope and resilience, demonstrating that healing is possible after trauma. The authors address the long-term effects of abuse, provide practical advice and exercises for self-care, and emphasize personal empowerment and the unique recovery process for each individual. The book also offers resources and advice for those supporting survivors, fostering understanding and empathy[1][4][5].
Shaar HaGilgulim
Shaar HaGilgulim
The Arizal
Man's Search for Meaning
Viktor Frankl
The book is divided into two parts. The first part recounts Frankl's harrowing experiences as a prisoner in Nazi concentration camps, including Auschwitz, between 1942 and 1945. He describes the inhumane conditions and the psychological and emotional struggles of the prisoners. The second part introduces Frankl's theory of logotherapy, which posits that the primary human drive is the search for meaning, rather than pleasure. Frankl argues that meaning can be found through three main avenues: work (doing something significant), love (caring for another), and suffering (finding meaning in one's own suffering). The book emphasizes the importance of finding purpose and meaning in life, even in the most adverse conditions, as a key factor in survival and personal growth.
Outliers
The Story of Success
Malcolm Gladwell
In 'Outliers: The Story of Success', Malcolm Gladwell examines the often-overlooked factors that contribute to high levels of success. He argues that success is not solely the result of individual talent or hard work, but rather is influenced by a complex web of advantages and inheritances, including cultural background, family, generation, and luck. The book delves into various examples, such as the success of Bill Gates, the Beatles, and Canadian ice hockey players, to illustrate how these factors play a crucial role. Gladwell also discusses the '10,000-hour rule' and the impact of cultural legacies on behavior and success. The book is divided into two parts: 'Opportunity' and 'Legacy', each exploring different aspects of how success is achieved and maintained.
In this episode of In Search of More, Eli Nash sits down with Bassy Kutten for a heartfelt and deeply personal conversation about her journey—from growing up in the tight-knit community of New Square to bravely speaking out about her past experiences of abuse. Bassy opens up about the emotional challenges of processing her trauma, the struggle of reconciling her childhood memories with difficult truths, and the importance of allowing herself to fully feel and heal. Together, they explore the complexities of family dynamics, the weight of silence, and the ongoing path toward self-acceptance and self-care.
Beyond Bassy’s personal story, the discussion expands into the broader cultural challenges surrounding abuse, particularly within Jewish communities. Eli and Bassy take an honest look at why survivors often struggle to find support, how societal biases shape responses to abuse, and the difficult but necessary work of shifting these conversations. They also touch on the role of psychedelics in healing, the impact of spirituality, and the power of open dialogue in creating lasting change. This episode is a moving, thought-provoking, and ultimately hopeful exploration of resilience, truth, and the courage to break cycles of silence.
In Search Of More with Eli Nash 
