Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens Eps 152: No More Mean Girls With Katie Hurley
Today’s guest is Katie Hurley. She is a child and adolescent psychotherapist specializing in anxiety disorders and stress and learning differences and author. She is the author of The Happy Kid Handbook and No More Mean Girls. She runs empowerment groups for girls. We are discussing girls and their relationships. Join us!
"We have to load them with coping skills because life is hard."
"Teach them coping skills. Teach them how to be kindness warriors. Teach them how to engage in a positive way on social media so that other girls start to follow suit...."
"We owe it to our girls to stop labelling them and let them grow into themselves."
"The more we fail and the more we fail out loud and accept it and acknowledge it and talk about it with other people, the more we grow as humans."
"We have to stop this cult of perfectionism among our girls and the best way to do that is to really open up to them and tell them what we go through."
What you’ll hear in this episode:
-The changing landscape in the world of girls and bullying
-Why these relationship challenges are starting earlier than ever
-Toxic competition and how it impacts relationships between girls
-How conditioning for high achievement can impact girls
-Shifts in educational expectations and how that affects children
-How attitudes towards sports have changed and what that has meant for girls
-Social emotional learning and the expectation it should happen at home vs. at school
-Belonging and significance in relationships between girls
-How building empathy can be helpful
-The Iceberg Metaphor and how it relates to conflict between girls
- Protective instincts and how they impact coaching empathy and understanding
-Clique behaviors and how they can impact girls
-Modelling those behaviors as parents and exercising compassion in moments of frustration
-Social media culture and how it removes safe spaces at home from interpersonal conflict between kids
-Checking off the boxes and how it can create overwhelm
-How not letting kids make choices can create stress and cause problems later in life
-The importance of coping skills and raising kindness warriors
-The impact of how we talk about school shooters and how that impacts their in-school relationships
-How social engineering by parents can impact our girls
-Understanding where parental interference in interests and social relationships can affect them
-Peer pressure among parents to "check the boxes" for our kids in terms of their extracurricular activities
-How labels affect and limit our girls
What does Joyful Courage mean to you?
To me, it just means being joyful about taking great leaps. It's okay wherever you land. Know that you're okay wherever you land and you can always make adjustments and give it another shot.
Resources:
Where to find Katie:
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