Episode 143: Is it Wrong to Separate From My Spouse? Q&A w/ Dr. Greg (A Relationship Series Wrap Up)
Sep 12, 2023
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Dr. Greg, a relationship expert, wraps up a relationship series by discussing divorce, separation, and annulment. Topics include the difference between separation, divorce, and annulment, the impact of divorce on children, and when separation is necessary for the good of the marriage. They also touch on the importance of discernment and support when making the decision to separate, as well as resources available for those dealing with divorce.
Marriage is considered sacramental and is meant to be lifelong, with divorce only justified in certain circumstances such as abuse or impossible fidelity to vows.
Separation can be a necessary means of self-protection and healing in cases of abuse, but it should always prioritize the overall good of the marriage and seek guidance for discernment.
Deep dives
Understanding the Difference Between Separation, Divorce, and Annulment
Marriage that is entered into sacramentally is forever, as death is the only thing that ends a marriage. An annulment is a declaration that the sacrament never occurred after looking back on the evidence. Separation can be justified in cases of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. Divorce, though not ideal in Catholic teaching, may be justified in situations where fidelity to the vows becomes impossible. The church provides the process of seeking a declaration of nullity to explore situations where the sacrament may not have occurred. This process is meant for personal growth, salvation, and the formation of healthy marriages.
Balancing Self-Protection and the Good of the Marriage
In cases of abuse, it is necessary to prioritize self-protection and the overall good of the marriage. Separation can be a means of caring for oneself and preventing further harm, but it should always be aimed towards working towards the good of the marriage and the spouse. The goal is not to enable the abusive behavior but to create space for healing and transformation. It is important to approach these difficult decisions with discernment, seeking guidance from mentors, spiritual directors, or therapists to navigate the complexities of the situation.
Children of Divorce and Their Well-Being
Divorce can have a significant impact on children, and it is crucial to consider their well-being throughout the process. Parents should strive to foster a school of love within the family, even in challenging circumstances. Open communication, support systems, and counseling are important resources to help children navigate the effects of divorce. It is also important for parents to continue growing and working on themselves, modeling growth, and learning from mistakes. By doing so, they can provide an invaluable lesson of human development to their adult or college-aged children.
Recognizing Different Forms of Abuse
Abuse can take various forms, including physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual. Each form of abuse has different thresholds and boundaries. Separation and divorce may be justified in situations of abuse, but it requires discernment and understanding of individual circumstance. It is crucial to distinguish between healthy interactions and abusive behaviors within intimate relationships. While infidelity can have a significant impact on a marriage, it does not automatically justify divorce. Each situation must be approached with sensitivity and guidance to determine the best course of action.
Welcome to Episode 143 of the Being Human Podcast: Is it Wrong to Separate From My Spouse? Q&A w/ Dr. Greg (A Relationship Series Wrap Up)
This week, Dr. Greg wraps up our recent Relationship Series by diving deeper into the complex topics of divorce, separation, and annulment to answer listener questions like “What if separation from my spouse seems to be my only recourse?”
Discussed in the episode:
The difference between separation, divorce, and annulment;
Sacramental marriage as a path to holiness and sanctification;
Why staying faithful to one’s marriage vows does not always mean remaining in physical proximity to one’s spouse;
What does it mean when the Church grants an annulment?
Instances where separation from a spouse is the only way to serve the good of a marriage and the individuals involved;
How each person is only responsible for their own salvation and not held eternally accountable for the decisions of one’s spouse;
The need for discernment and support when making the decision to separate from a spouse;
The impact of divorce and separation on children;
How do I know if my spouse is sexually abusing me?
Why infidelity does not automatically equal grounds for an annulment;
Resources available for those dealing with the aftermath of divorce.
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