Focus Forward: An Executive Function Podcast Ep 55: How to Strengthen Relationships Through Communication & Executive Function (ft. Dr. David Helfand)
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Dec 11, 2024 Dr. David Helfand, a licensed psychologist specializing in neurofeedback and couples therapy, shares insights on how executive function influences romantic relationships. He discusses how memory and attention impact resilience, exploring the idea that forgetting can protect bonds. Dr. Helfand emphasizes the importance of communication, especially in navigating triggers and enhancing intimacy. He advocates for playfulness and small daily interactions to nurture relationships, while also addressing how self-care and realistic expectations play crucial roles in maintaining love.
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Why Forgetting Can Help Relationships
- Memory depends on attention, encoding, and personality differences rather than being a single flaw.
- Forgetting can be adaptive in relationships because perfect recall fuels grudges and relational strain.
Name The Landmine, Then Share It
- When a partner triggers historic pain, label it as old baggage and share its origin instead of blaming.
- Use metacommunication to separate the trigger from the relationship and solve the problem together.
Old-School Client Wanted The Bottom Line
- An elderly engineer told David he couldn't follow a long curriculum and asked for the bottom line.
- David boiled it down: aim for more happy hormones than stress hormones in interactions.
