Listener Week: Is it ever good to give up on dreams? Working class women & university, Living funerals
Aug 23, 2023
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Monica, a chartered psychologist, and Catherine Hallissey, a psychologist, discuss when it's right to give up on dreams. They also explore the challenges faced by working-class women at university and the discovery of a poem by Georgiana the Duchess of Devonshire. The podcast delves into the concept of living funerals as an alternative and shares heartwarming stories of personal experiences.
Living funerals provide a unique opportunity for people to express love and closure while the person is still alive.
Letting go of a lifelong dream can bring a sense of relief and improved overall well-being.
The story of Georgina Duchess of Devonshire highlights the importance of acknowledging the achievements and contributions of women in history.
Deep dives
Living Funerals as a New Alternative
Living funerals, where the person being celebrated and mourned is still alive, are a new alternative to traditional funerals for those facing terminal illnesses. They originated in Japan and have gained popularity as a way to make people understand and accept death in a less scary way. Chris Hallenga, the founder of Copperfield, had a living funeral to raise awareness about breast cancer and death. Heidi Satterwaite, who had a rare form of cancer, also had a living funeral to celebrate her life with friends and family. These living funerals provide a unique opportunity for people to express love and closure while the person is still alive.
Letting Go of Lifelong Dreams
Monica, a listener, shares her experience of giving up on her lifelong dream of becoming a novelist. She had always been interested in writing and had pursued it for a long time but felt overwhelmed and stressed. She struggled to bring her ideas to completion and found that her dream was taking over her life, leaving her feeling unwell and unhappy. However, Monica's decision to let go of this dream and focus on other fulfilling activities, such as her work as a well-being practitioner, has brought her a sense of relief and improved her overall well-being.
The Fascinating Life of Georgina Duchess of Devonshire
Georgina Duchess of Devonshire, a significant figure in the 18th century, was known for her political influence, fashion sense, and literary pursuits. She was one of the leading figures in the Whig party and made a lasting impact on British politics. Georgina had a complex personal life, having relationships with both her husband's mistress and Charles Grey, who eventually became Prime Minister. Her writing, including a recently discovered poem titled 'To Myself,' reflects her struggles, ambitions, and the intense emotions she experienced throughout her life. Georgina's story reminds us of the importance of uncovering and acknowledging the achievements and contributions of women in history.
Deciding When to Let Go of a Lifelong Dream
Monica's experience of giving up on her lifelong dream highlights the importance of being open to reevaluating our goals and ambitions. While it can be challenging to let go of a dream in which we have invested a significant amount of time and effort, it is essential to recognize when it is no longer bringing us joy or fulfillment. Constantly reviewing our goals and adjusting them based on new information and personal growth can lead to a healthier and more satisfying life. Monica's decision to embrace new opportunities and find fulfillment in other areas of her life is a testament to the power of letting go and allowing oneself to evolve.
Effective Goal Adjustment and Redefining Success
Monica's story underscores the importance of goal adjustment and the ability to redefine success. While setting goals is crucial for personal growth and fulfillment, it is equally vital to regularly assess and adjust those goals based on new circumstances and personal values. Success should not be measured solely by the achievement of specific goals, but by the overall well-being and happiness it brings. Having the flexibility and openness to adapt our goals and priorities can lead to new opportunities, personal growth, and a greater sense of fulfillment.
For Woman's Hour's Listener Week, you, our listeners, decide what we cover on the programme.
Nuala McGovern is joined by Monica and chartered psychologist Catherine Hallissey to discuss when it might be the right decision to give up on your dream. We'd like to hear your views on the issue. Have you decided to change course or realised a goal isn’t meant to be?
Earlier this month, we heard the experiences of young people who are opting to live at home while they study at university because of the cost of living. That prompted a listener, Dr Pam Woolner from Newcastle University, to get in touch to tell us about the latest research by her colleague Dr Sam Shields. It looks into the experiences of working class women going to university and the challenges they face. Sam is senior lecturer in Education at Newcastle University and joins Nuala along with the writer Jessica Andrews who was the first in her family to go to university, leaving her home in the north-east of England to study in London.
One of our listeners got in touch to tell us that his daughter had discovered a previously unseen poem by Georgiana the Duchess of Devonshire, who you may know about from the Keira Knightley film, The Duchess. We’ll be bringing you that poem and discussing why the duchess was such an influential political figure in her day.
And Nelly has asked us to talk about living funerals. She was inspired by Kris Hallenga, the founder of the CoppaFeel breast cancer awareness charity, who has stage 4 breast cancer and who held a living funeral for herself.
Presenter: Nuala McGovern
Producer: Lisa Jenkinson
Studio Manager: Andrew Garratt
00:00 OPENER
01:43 LIVING FUNERALS
22.46 WORKING CLASS ACADEMICS
35.45 DUCHESS POEM
46.57 GIVING UP ON DREAMS
5439 CLOSE
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