Episode 378: Too much leadership and awkward zoom silence
Oct 16, 2023
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The podcast discusses topics like managing an ML team while wanting to code, the challenges of returning to an individual contributor role, leadership challenges, balancing technical knowledge with managerial responsibilities, transitioning between leadership positions, and strategies for overcoming awkward silences in Zoom meetings.
Embrace the silence in Zoom meetings and train oneself and the team to be comfortable with pauses by spending time in a call without talking or playing music/sound effects.
Consider accepting a promotion to head of platform engineering with 3 teams reporting, as it may provide unique growth opportunities and the possibility of returning to an individual contributor role later.
Deep dives
Overcoming the fear of Zoom silence
The listener struggles with uncomfortable silences in Zoom meetings and often fills the pauses too quickly. They find it easier to handle in-person meetings. The podcast hosts suggest training oneself and the team to be okay with silence by spending time in a Zoom call without talking. Alternatively, they humorously propose playing music or sound effects during meetings. They also discuss the challenges of interrupted communication in large Zoom meetings. In conclusion, the hosts advise the listener to embrace the silence and not worry about it too much.
Choosing between a promotion and an individual contributor role
The listener is torn between asking for a role change to an individual contributor position or accepting a promotion to become the head of platform engineering, managing three teams with a total of 30 people. The hosts recommend considering the rarity of opportunities for a director-level position, noting that it may be easier to transition back to an individual contributor role later. They also propose hiring capable leaders to run the teams, allowing the listener to focus on their technical interests while still providing strategic guidance.
Dealing with the discomfort of Zoom meetings
The listener finds silence and stilted small talk in Zoom meetings unbearable and often logs in late to avoid it. They also tend to fill in the pauses too quickly. The hosts suggest getting accustomed to the silence by embracing it and understanding that it is not inherently a negative thing. They propose using Zoom meetings with colleagues to simulate an environment of silence, similar to exposure therapy. Additionally, they joke about using sound effects or music to fill awkward silences.
In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:
I’ve managed an ML team in a small company for ~2 years now. I created an 8 person team from scratch and I’m super proud of the team I’ve built. However, I miss being an engineer and wish I could spend more time coding. I was considering asking for a role change to IC, but out of nowhere my manager offered to me a promotion to head of platform engineering. I would have 3 engineering teams reporting to me - about 30 people altogether.
I have trouble saying no to new opportunities but can I put the genie back in the bottle? If I get “Peter principled”, I feel like it would be challenging or embarrassing to return to IC work. How can I stay close to the ML side while managing other teams? Would other teams feel dejected if they know I had a “favorite” team?
Is it just me or do people also find silences over Zoom unbearable? I work in a team that is mostly remote, and I find myself deliberately logging into meetings late to avoid the silence or the stilted, awkward smalltalk. If i’m running the meeting, I kickoff at 1 minute past to avoid having to deal with that dead air. I also find myself too quick to fill pauses during meetings. I never have this problem in person meetings. I’ve been in the same team now for nearly a year and I still dread uncomfortable silences over Zoom. How do I get over this?
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