S3 Ep 36: Bright Kids Who Can't Keep Up, w/ Dr. Ellen Braaten
Sep 8, 2023
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Join Dr. Ellen Braaten, leading expert in child psychology, as she discusses fostering motivation in children, helping them find purpose and understanding motivation in bright kids. The podcast also explores finding time for children's interests and the importance of letting go of parental expectations.
Understand and acknowledge your child's strengths and interests, even if they don't align with your expectations.
Create space for your child to pursue activities they love and discuss alternatives to academics based on their unique strengths and interests.
Deep dives
Understanding the Challenges of Unmotivated Children
In this podcast episode, Dr. Ellen Bratton discusses the issue of unmotivated children. She explains how some children, despite being capable and competent, lack motivation and interest in their activities. Dr. Bratton emphasizes the importance of accurately understanding and acknowledging your child's strengths and interests, even if they don't align with your expectations. She advises parents to reflect on what brings their child pleasure and joy, and to have open-ended conversations about goals and commitments. Dr. Bratton also suggests creating space for your child to pursue activities they love and discussing potential alternatives to academics, such as work or volunteering, based on their unique strengths and interests.
Finding a Middle Ground for Motivation
Dr. Bratton highlights the importance of finding a middle ground when it comes to motivation, rather than pushing for extremes. She encourages parents to let go of society's overwhelming focus on academic achievement and college, and instead start having conversations with their child about their passions and what they genuinely enjoy. By accepting that academics may not be their child's primary motivation, parents can support them in discovering activities that bring them joy and fulfillment. Dr. Bratton also emphasizes the significance of gratitude and reflection as tools for understanding and nurturing motivation.
Recognizing When to Be Concerned
Dr. Bratton advises parents to differentiate between normal apathy and potential signs of underlying mental health issues. Parents should be concerned if a child consistently displays a lack of pleasure in anything, expresses persistent depression or anxiety, exhibits aggressive behavior, or struggles with impulse control. In such cases, seeking professional help and addressing the symptoms is vital. Dr. Bratton encourages parents to pay attention to their child's overall well-being and adjust their expectations and approaches accordingly.
Raising the Child You Have, Not the Child You Wish For
Dr. Bratton concludes by emphasizing the importance of embracing and empathizing with the child you have rather than trying to mold them into someone else. She encourages parents to reflect on their own expectations and experiences, allowing room for their child's individuality and unique interests. It is essential to acknowledge that parenting is a journey of growth and adjustment, both for the child and the parent. By letting go of preconceived notions and embracing the process, parents can support their child in developing their own motivation and finding fulfillment.
Join me for an eye-opening discussion with Dr. Ellen Braaten as we unlock the mysteries of motivation and discover how to create a nurturing environment for our children while respecting their unique strengths and interests. Dr. Ellen Braaten, a leading expert in child psychology and the director of The Learning and Emotional Assessment Program (LEAP) at Massachusetts General Hospital, brings a wealth of knowledge and practical insights to the table. With years of research and clinical experience, Dr. Braaten has helped countless families unlock the keys to their children's motivation and navigate the often challenging waters of parental expectations.
This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.