TLP207: Finding Common Ground

Brian Ahearn specializes in applying the science of influence and persuasion in everyday situations, and authored the LinkedIn course Persuasive Selling and has been cited in The small BIG, Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, and Introducing Persuasion: A Practical Guide. Brian believes the ability to connect with someone is everywhere, it just takes a conversation and an intense curiosity to find commonalities. Key Takeaways [2:45] Brian trained under Dr. Robert Cialdini. Dr. Cialdini loves to research and experiment with different theories. Brian, on the other hand, loves taking that research and applying it right away. [6:05] Leaders can use influence for good (instead of manipulation) by being empathic and taking the time to truly know the person working for them. When you have people's best interests at heart, it's easy to get good work done. [10:50] Salespeople who understand technology and know how to build a connection virtually are really going to thrive in this new environment. Understanding the technology you're working with right now is critical when you can't shake someone's hand. [13:25] The biggest mistake that Brian sees in coaching is when companies do not give coaches the correct space or training for them to excel in their company environment. [14:55] Coaches shouldn't be 'telling' people what to do. They should be asking the right questions and getting the mentee to act on their own. [17:30] A good salesperson asks questions, allows the customer to talk, and when they're listening, they start to understand the customer's needs and buying type. The same applies to coaching. [20:40] People right now are finding out how strong their customer relations really are because they have to connect differently than before. [22:20] During this time, it's important to show genuine concern for people! Sometimes just reaching out to check in and see how they're doing, is all you need to do. [24:20] The more we find we have in common, the more we naturally like that person. [31:00] It's up to you to emotionally start connecting with people. Look for everything you can find about a person that the two of you have in common. 31:00] It's up to you to emotionally start connecting with people. Look for everything you can find that you have in common with this new person or acquaintance. [32:55] A lot of good things are coming out of quarantine. People from all over are using Zoom to connect with old friends. [36:20] People are more motivated by what they might lose than what they might gain. [39:15] You need to trust that when you have people's best interests at heart, that they will respond positively to that. It all starts with you and the choices that you make. [42:30] There's something good in everybody and if you can find it, even the most difficult people will become someone you could enjoy working with. Quotable Quotes "If I ask the right questions and help you come up with a solution, you will be much more committed to that solution because you came up with it." "It's easy for us to say yes to people we know and like." "Go in with a mindset of how can I come to like them." Resources Mentioned Influencepeople.biz Connect with John on Twitter: @BrianAhearn Brian's book: Influence PEOPLE: Powerful Everyday Opportunities to Persuade that are Lasting and Ethical Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, by Robert B. Cialdini The Best of Enemies (film 2019) The Leadership Podcast is Sponsored by: Cultivate Grit. Amplify Action. Investing in yourself isn't selfish. Click HERE to get gritty! Free downloads of Quick Reference Guides on Delegation, Time Management, Sales, and more.