Girls Night #253: Stop Trying to be the “Perfect” Christian (This is Important! Here’s Why…) — with Kimberly Stuart
May 27, 2024
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Kimberly Stuart, a writer and podcaster known for her book "Star for Jesus (And Other Jobs I Quit)," discusses the importance of letting go of perfectionism in one's Christian faith. She shares personal anecdotes that balance humor with deep insights, emphasizing grace over performance. The conversation touches on the pressures of being a 'perfect' Christian and the need for genuine connections. Kim's warm and relatable perspective reminds listeners that embracing grace can transform their faith journey and foster authentic relationships.
The podcast emphasizes the importance of moving away from a checklist mentality in faith to experiencing a genuine intimacy with God.
Kimberly Stuart advocates for understanding God's grace as an unmerited gift, freeing individuals from the pressure to earn approval through actions.
Reflecting on past experiences of grace can strengthen faith and cultivate gratitude, revealing God's continual presence in our lives.
Deep dives
The Pursuit of Perfection in Faith
Many individuals feel the pressure to meet certain expectations in their spiritual journeys, leading to a sense of inadequacy when they fall short. The discussion highlights the tendency to equate religious activities such as prayer and Bible reading with being a 'good' Christian, which can create a checklist mentality rather than fostering genuine intimacy with God. This perspective often leads to feelings of disappointment and self-judgment when individuals perceive themselves as not doing enough to earn God's love. The episode emphasizes the importance of recognizing that faith is not about being perfect, but rather about embracing God's grace, which is freely given regardless of performance.
Rediscovering Grace
The guest, Kimberly Stewart, shares insights from her book, which challenges the idea that one must earn God's favor through actions. Instead, she advocates for understanding grace as an unmerited gift that cannot be diminished by individual shortcomings. Stewart's anecdotes illustrate how her journey involved wrestling with the concept of grace and learning to accept it without the urge to 'pay it back' through good deeds. This realization ultimately allowed her to experience a more profound and authentic relationship with God, free from the burdens of self-imposed expectations.
The Freedom Found in Grace
Stewart discusses the transformative nature of accepting grace, likening it to a liberating experience that removes the shackles of perfectionism. She mentions the metaphor of God’s love being like a spouse who continues to love despite the imperfections that emerge over time. This concept is pivotal as it redefines the relationship between individuals and God, shifting the focus from performance to unconditional love. Recognizing that one does not need to clean up or earn God's approval can lead to deep emotional and spiritual relief, enabling a more open and honest connection with one's faith.
Looking Back to Move Forward
A key insight shared is the importance of reflecting on past experiences to recognize God's presence and grace throughout one's life. Stewart suggests reviewing moments where grace was evident, even during challenging times, to cultivate gratitude and awareness of divine love. This practice aligns with the scriptural emphasis on remembrance as a means of strengthening one's faith. By cultivating this habit, individuals can build a narrative of God's faithfulness, reinforcing the belief that grace is not only present but abundant in their lives.
Extending Grace to Others
The conversation also touches upon extending grace to others, especially in challenging relationships. Stewart highlights that giving grace is an active process, particularly toward those who may be difficult to love or understand—a concept she playfully refers to as dealing with 'doinks.' This practice fosters a greater understanding of the grace God extends to us, reminding individuals that everyone is deserving of love, even when they do not exhibit behavior that warrants it. By practicing grace in these scenarios, individuals can deepen their understanding of God's unconditional love and experience transformative growth in their relationships.
I’m so excited about today’s episode. Today we’re talking about why it’s so important that we stop trying to be the “perfect” Christian.
Tell me if any of this sounds familiar to you:
You try to do all of the “right” things like pray and read your Bible, but sometimes it feels like you’re checking boxes off a to-do list rather than experiencing real intimacy with God.
Or maybe you feel like you need to do X,Y, & Z, you fill in the blanks, in order to be a “good Christian” or person of faith.
Or, if you don’t have your quiet time (or whatever the thing is you feel you’re supposed to do), you feel like a bad Christian and that God must be disappointed in you.
Does any of this resonate with you? If so, I want you to know you’re not alone and we’re going to work through this together.
Kim is hilarious and warm and relatable and wise. I can’t wait for you to meet her.
One of my favorite quotes Kim says in the episode is this, “There is more than enough grace to cushion every single fall every single day.” Yes and amen to that!
I hope this conversation reminds you how loved you are and that there’s room for everyone at God’s table! Okay, let’s dive in!