What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task?

It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss:

whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about
pushing back on "weaponized incompetence"
the difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes
The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids

Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode:

Our interview with Eve Rodsky
Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor"
FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943
EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355
THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127

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Folge 138: Ingalena Schömburg-Heuck