Christine Emba, a staff writer at the Atlantic and author of Rethinking Sex, teams up with Chine McDonald, director of Theos, to tackle modern sexual ethics. They unravel the idea that consent alone isn’t enough, stating that intimacy and emotional engagement are crucial for fulfilling relationships. The discussion dives into the challenges of loneliness among young people, the evolving nature of masculinity, and the church's role in fostering healthy conversations around sexuality. Both guests advocate for richer, genuine connections in today’s romantic landscape.
Christine Emba emphasizes that consent, while necessary, should not be the final standard for healthy sexual and emotional relationships.
The conversation highlights the need for positive male role models to combat the crisis of masculinity affecting young men today.
Deep dives
The Limitations of Consent in Sexual Ethics
The central argument presented is that a cultural focus on consent as the primary sexual ethic is insufficient and problematic. Christine Emba discusses how this legalistic view reduces sexual encounters to mere contractual agreements, often leading individuals to feel trapped by their consent. Young people frequently report experiences where they felt uncomfortable or unhappy but felt compelled to dismiss their feelings because they technically consented. This critique illustrates a need for a more nuanced understanding of what constitutes healthy and meaningful intimacy, beyond the minimalist standard of consent.
Craving Intimacy in a Lonely Culture
Emba emphasizes the broader societal context, highlighting an epidemic of loneliness that profoundly affects sexual and romantic relationships today. Many people feel disconnected and long for authentic intimacy, yet struggle to articulate these desires in a culture that often prioritizes superficial interactions. Interviews reveal that individuals often desire care, connection, and recognition over mere physical pleasure, reflecting a widespread dissatisfaction with the current dating landscape. By expressing these sentiments, Emba aims to validate the feelings of those searching for more meaningful human connections.
The Crisis of Masculinity and Its Impact
Another key point involves the crisis of masculinity and the confusion many men experience in navigating contemporary social dynamics. Emba notes how male role models seem scarce, resulting in a generation of men who feel lost regarding their identities and responsibilities. This gap in guidance has led some young men to gravitate towards harmful figures who offer toxic versions of masculinity instead of constructive mentorship. The conversation encourages the church and community to step up by providing positive male role models who engage in honest discussions about masculinity and relationships.
In this episode of For the Good of the Public podcast, Michael and Phebe present a conversation with Christine Emba, staff writer at the Atlantic and author of Rethinking Sex: A Provocation, and Chine McDonald, director of Theos, a research think tank based in London. Christine argues that when it comes to sexual ethics today, “Consent is the floor. It was never meant to be the ceiling.” In this vital conversation, Christine and Chine help us face the reality of our culture today, and discuss what it might look like to build a healthier culture around sexuality and romantic relationships.
“It also feels like from your work and your conversation with younger people, that there is almost a realization that consent isn’t enough, that there is a dissatisfaction somewhere in their sexual relationships.” -Chine [10:34]
“As a number of people have told me, the vibes are bad. They’re very bad in the romantic culture. And that’s actually true.” -Christine [11:58]