20: When you’ve changed but your partner…hasn’t, Part 1
Aug 30, 2023
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In this episode, the podcast host provides advice for dealing with personal growth in a relationship. They discuss navigating changes, inviting your partner to join you on your path, finding joy in your own path, making requests for intimacy, processing negative emotions, and strengthening the relationship by consciously cherishing your partner.
To accept your partner's path, focus on filling your own cup outside of the relationship through fulfilling activities and connections with like-minded communities.
Communicate your desire for greater intimacy and connection with your partner, while also expressing your need for their support in acknowledging and processing your true emotions.
Deep dives
Fill your cup
To accept your partner's path, make sure your cup is filled outside of the relationship. Engage in fulfilling activities and connect with communities that align with your values.
Make requests for intimacy
Communicate your desire for greater intimacy with your partner. Make requests for shared activities that promote connection, and also request their support in holding space for your emotions.
Tell yourself the truth about how you feel
Regularly acknowledge and journal about your authentic emotions, including resentment, frustration, and grief. By processing and acknowledging these feelings, you can prevent them from negatively affecting your relationship.
Cherish your partner
Consciously choose to cherish and appreciate your partner. Make a daily practice of reminding yourself of their positive qualities and what you value about them. This can help rebuild goodwill and foster acceptance in the relationship.
I am answering another newsletter reader question today, a question about relationships + change.
The reader asks:
"I have done a LOT of work on myself, which has resulted in seeing the world differently, clarifying my values and what kind of life I’d like to live."
"How can I continue on my new path while still accepting if my partner wants to keep going in the old one? (Or how I can encourage him to join me!)"
I had so much to say on this topic that I divided my response into two episodes. Today, I want to start with actions — I share four ideas I have about categories of action this reader can take.
I hope this is helpful to anyone listening who might be feeling some distance in a key relationship, perhaps because you’ve changed.