Explore the concepts of containment and attunement in relationships to create safe spaces for emotional expression. Discover the transformative power of lament and the importance of living in tension. Learn how to establish a context of containment in challenging times and hold the tension of grief and desire.
Containment involves creating a safe space for others to express emotions and navigate difficulties, and it is crucial for healthy relationships and healing.
Finding moments of delight and joy can open the door to desire, leading to a deeper engagement with our own longings and the longings of others, inviting us to move beyond cynicism and control.
Deep dives
Importance of Containment and Empathy
Containment, which involves creating a space for others to be fully seen and heard, is crucial for healthy relationships and healing. It is not about control or maintaining the status quo, but rather about providing a safe container for emotions and experiences. This requires attunement and empathy, the ability to suffer with and be present for others. Lament is an important component of containment, allowing space for grief, rage, and the acknowledgment that things are not as they should be. Through lament, we can engage in the transformative process of bringing forth new possibilities and honoring the complexity of our inner world.
Delight and Desire in Containment
In the midst of chaos and intensity, finding moments of delight and joy can be a powerful way to engage in containment. Recognizing and savoring the things that bring us joy can open the door to desire, which can lead to a deeper engagement with our own longings and the longings of others. This connection between delight and desire invites us to move beyond cynicism and control, and instead embrace the tension between grief and longing, holding space for the currents of life to flow.
Sustaining Containment through Awareness and Community
Creating a context of containment in a world that often lacks it requires slowing down, honoring our humanity, and being attuned to the needs of ourselves and others. It involves acknowledging and embracing our limitations and being part of communities that hold space for grief and laughter, conflict and negotiation. Sustaining containment involves maintaining awareness of the groanings within us and the transformative potential of lament. By holding death and resurrection together, we create containers that allow for growth, healing, and the possibility of new life.
Containment is both something that we need to receive and it's something that we can provide for others in our roles as parents, spouses, friends, and members of a greater community - particularly during challenging times.
Containment is not about control or maintaining the status quo; instead, it involves creating a safe space for others to express emotions and navigate difficulties.
The concept of containment is closely tied to attunement, which means being aware of others' needs and understanding our own capacity as well.
If you've heard about these concepts but want a deeper understanding and practical implementation in your life, we hope this episode offers you an insightful introduction.
Listener Resources:
To take a deeper dive into the concepts of containment, attunement, and attachment theory in your own life, particularly as they relate to your family of origin, and learn to provide spaces of containment and healing for others, we recommend enrolling in the Story Sage Series online course from the Allender Center.