37: The Digital Age - Relationships, Intimacy & Porn with Robert Weiss

On this episode of The Addicted Mind podcast, we are joined by Robert Weiss, a digital-age intimacy and relationship expert and author of several insightful books on the topic (links below). Rob’s non-alarmist approach to the impacts of our digital age on intimacy and relationships as well as on the minds and futures of our children is refreshing and encouraging, while still reminding us to be aware and informed. In his 25 years in the industry, Rob has noticed significant shifts in the accessibility of pornography, leading to an increased prevalence of problems with porn in today’s society.

While previous generations had to wait until a certain age to legally purchase or rent pornographic magazines and videos – usually from a grimy store in a defunct area of town – the internet has allowed today’s adolescents and adults immediate, free, and convenient access to porn. This eliminates the need for mentally processing whether gaining access to the porn is worth the effort, because it takes little to no effort at all. Additionally, there are similarities between porn addictions and gambling addictions in that both arenas provide the consumer with both unlimited material and anonymity, aiding their participation in the experience of anticipatory fantasy, always driven to keep going for the euphoria of seeing what comes next.

For these compelling reasons, the consumption of pornography which could lead to an addiction is becoming a more prominent issue in our world, and with the coming universality of virtual reality in American households, experts are only expecting the issue to become larger. With the tolerance of overt sexuality in our culture, adolescents are prone to jump straight from flirting to sexual acts – either online or in person – and they are not learning the necessary social experiences of true intimacy learned through making friends and being in a relationship that lasts more than a night.

Understandably, today’s parents are worried about the culture where they are raising their children, but Rob encourages parents to focus on loving, caring for, and supporting their children above any concerns that they may have. Just as previous generations of children have adapted to the inventions of new technologies, this Digital Natives generation will do the same, and it will not ruin their lives. They can find more ways to use new technologies like virtual reality for good as they can for evil, and parents can help their children know the difference by being aware and well-informed.

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