On Attachment

#188: When Your Relationship Feels Stuck (& What to Do About It)

May 17, 2025

Feeling stuck in your relationship? You're not alone; many face similar challenges. Discover how external stressors often impact connection more than the relationship itself. Learn three powerful shifts: focus on appreciation instead of criticism, reconnect through lighthearted activities, and prioritize your own well-being. These insights can help navigate the complexities of anxious-avoidant dynamics and foster a deeper connection.

20:46

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Quick takeaways

Focusing on appreciation and warmth rather than criticism can help revive a disconnected relationship and improve dynamics.

Engaging in lighthearted activities together allows couples to reconnect and alleviate tension during challenging times.

Deep dives

Understanding Relationship Ruts

Experiencing a relationship rut is common, often manifesting as tension, disconnection, and increased conflict. Such periods can leave individuals feeling powerless, lonely, and questioning the longevity of their partnership. It is essential to recognize that these ruts happen to everyone, and having realistic expectations can alleviate some pressure. The underlying factors contributing to this disconnection may not solely stem from the relationship itself but can also be influenced by external stressors, highlighting the importance of addressing broader life conditions.

Navigating Relationship Ruts and Finding Connection

4min

Navigating Relationship Ruts: Strategies for Connection and Growth

16min

Feeling stuck in your relationship? Like things are off, disconnected, or just… heavy? You're not alone. Relationship ruts are common — and they're often more about what's bleeding into the relationship (stress, burnout, life overload) than about the relationship itself.

For those in anxious-avoidant dynamics, these ruts can feel especially charged. The anxious partner often wants to fix it, while the avoidant may feel overwhelmed or pressured — leading to even more distance.

In this episode, I share 3 powerful shifts to help you move out of a rut and back into connection:

Shift your focus to what is working — Appreciation and warmth go further than criticism.
Reconnect through something light — Play, fun, and novelty can do what words sometimes can’t.
Tend to your own world — Reclaim your centre so the relationship doesn’t carry the full weight of your wellbeing.

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