Parenting on Purpose: Moving Beyond Parenting Differences

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What happens when two loving parents disagree about how to respond to their child's behavior? This deeply personal episode dives into one of the most challenging conflicts couples face—differing parenting approaches.

Through the story of Justin and Lori, we examine how bedtime struggles with their six-year-old son leads to couple conflict. Justin believes in firm boundaries and worries about being manipulated, while Lori focuses on understanding what's driving their son's behavior. This scenario leaves both parents feeling misunderstood and judged by their partner.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack the neuroscience of effective parenting—acknowledging a child's experience, attuning to their emotional state, and reflecting/mirroring what we observe—while honestly addressing why this approach can be difficult to implement consistently in real life. Most importantly, they explore how our own childhood experiences create emotional triggers that make these conversations particularly charged. Stephen shares how his resistance stems from not wanting to parent like his father, while Erin reflects on how being raised by a busy single mother shaped her approach to structure and boundaries.

The path forward isn't about determining who's right, but understanding what drives our reactions and learning to "parent on purpose" instead of from automatic patterns. By approaching these differences with kindness and curiosity, couples can move from rigid opposition to thoughtful collaboration.

Want more resources to help transform your essential relationship conflicts into deeper connection? Our book "Too Tired to Fight" gives you practical tools to navigate the 13 conflicts every couple faces, including parenting differences. Available wherever books are sold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X