Does Everything Happen for a Reason? From A Slight Change of Plans
Nov 9, 2024
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Maya Shankar, a renowned expert in personal growth and host of A Slight Change of Plans, dives deep into the profound impact of unexpected life changes. She shares her reflective journey after a devastating cancer diagnosis, challenging the misconception that success is solely earned through effort. The conversation touches on the emotional turmoil of facing mortality, navigating hope amid suffering, and the importance of community support. Shankar urges listeners to confront the unpredictability of life with empathy and resilience.
Kate Bowler's cancer diagnosis led her to reevaluate her beliefs about health, happiness, and the notion of deserving outcomes.
Through her journey, she discovered that love and empathy are more essential than a belief in entitlement during life's uncertainties.
Deep dives
The Shock of a Diagnosis
At age 35, Kate Bowler received the devastating news of her stage four colon cancer diagnosis, which triggered a profound introspection about her life and beliefs. This moment marked a significant shift in her perception, as she felt time move slowly while grappling with the reality that her life was about to change dramatically. Confronted with her mortality, Kate found herself questioning her long-held beliefs about deserving health and happiness, which had been shaped by both her personal experiences and her scholarly work. This unexpected confrontation with fate forced her to reconsider the assumptions she had about life and the nature of suffering.
Reexamining Faith and Beliefs
Kate's background in the Prosperity Gospel, which promises that strong faith can lead to health and wealth, came into sharp contrast with her diagnosis. Initially, she had dismissed the ideas of deserving outcomes as part of her faith tradition, yet the reality of her illness revealed that she had internalized elements of this belief system. The irony struck her deeply as she reflected on how her previous understanding of faith had been challenged by her dire circumstances. Kate's journey became one of reexamining her foundational beliefs, especially the notion that everything happens for a reason, as she navigated her condition and the responses of others around her.
The Unraveling of Certainty
The painful experience of being diagnosed with cancer forced Kate to confront the fragility of her life and the validity of her previous beliefs. As she processed the implications of her diagnosis, she felt a loss of the control she'd believed she had over her future, coming to terms with the randomness of life. She learned that hard work and being 'a good person' did not exempt one from suffering or tragedy, leading to a humbling realization that her life could unravel at any moment. This period of uncertainty opened up a new appreciation for the complexities of existence, empathy, and the unpredictable nature of human experiences.
Navigating Hope and Love
Throughout her journey, Kate learned to navigate the delicate balance between hope and acceptance, realizing that survival did not hinge on a sense of deservedness. As she engaged with the emotional responses from loved ones, she noticed a tendency for people to project their desires for her survival onto her, often reverting to old narratives of specialness and deserving miracles. However, Kate found that embracing her precarity enriched her capacity to empathize with others facing hardships, allowing her to witness the beauty and depth in relational love. Ultimately, she concluded that love, not a belief in entitlement, would be the true source of strength and connection during the darkest times.
This week we're introducing you to a show we love called A Slight Change of Plans with Dr. Maya Shankar. Kate was actually a guest on the show, where she joined to talk about how her entire belief system was thrown into question when she was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer at age 35.
If you want to hear more conversations like this one, listen to A Slight Change of Plans wherever you get your podcasts. Plus, the show has new episodes coming on November 11.