UNMASKING: The neurodivergent identity crisis hidden behind a lifetime of pretending

In this episode of LATE BLOOMERS, Rich and Rox finally talk about unmasking — pretending to be someone you’re not, pretending to be neurotypical, pretending you’re fine, and pretending you don’t have needs. Rich shares how his old mask looked like being the “life and soul of the party,” hyper-masculine and always social, while Rox talks about hiding chaos, messy flats, people-pleasing, fawning, and lying about things like lateness out of shame.

They explore why neurodivergent people mask — to fit in, avoid rejection, and feel acceptable — and the cost of it: exhaustion, anxiety, overwhelm, and relationships where the real you is never seen. Rich and Rox share personal moments of overstimulation, needing quiet rooms, crying, mouldy cups, chaotic homes, and acting through fear of being “caught out.”

They also talk about how unmasking takes time, feels awkward, and starts with small truths shared with the safest person. And even though it’s scary, they show why it leads to more connection, more honesty, and finally being known for who you really are.

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