The Silent Stigma: Herpes and the Fear of Disclosure

For far too long, sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) have carried a heavy weight of stigma—whispers behind closed doors, silent fears, and the crushing anxiety of disclosure and the rejection that might follow. Many people would rather avoid dating altogether than face the possibility of judgment. But should a diagnosis really hold that much power over your life? Should it define your worth, your relationships, or your future?

In this Language of Love Session, I’m responding to an email from Claire, a listener who recently received a herpes diagnosis. Claire’s feeling overwhelmed by shame and fear about her dating future. She’s worried she’ll never find love and is unsure how to share her diagnosis with potential partners.

Here’s the truth: A herpes diagnosis does NOT make you undateable. In fact, 1 in 4 people have herpes, and 80% of them don’t even know it! The stigma around STDs, especially herpes, creates unnecessary shame. But at the end of the day, herpes is just a manageable skin condition—one that can be effectively treated with medication.

In this episode, I dive into:

• The prevalence of herpes and why the stigma needs to end
• Why herpes doesn’t define you: You are so much more than your diagnosis, and the right person will see that.
• How to manage outbreaks and reduce transmission risk
• The best way to disclose your diagnosis to a potential partner

If you need any help or advice, you can email me at languageoflovepod@gmail.com and you can also get a chance to join me on Zoom for a one-on-one session. I’d love to hear from you!

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