Men who have a desire to improve at dating often fall into the trap of tactics. And they fundamentally believe that their lack of success is not because of them, but because of the modern dating world. 

So they seek to “optimize” individual tactics involved in modern dating—fixing their profile on dating apps, becoming more successful in their career, hitting the gym and getting a six-pack—without ever confronting the real root cause of their dating failures:

Themselves!

Of course, this route is far easier than confronting your deep-rooted emotional issues. You may even experience short-term successes too: More dates, getting laid more often, and being surrounded by beautiful women more often. 

But this short-term success comes with a cost…

It deprives you of the very thing you actually want: A real, authentic connection with someone you love. 

Why?

Because obsessing over dating tactics is a way to blame the world for your failures instead of looking in the mirror. But only by looking in the mirror and doing the work can you actually create an authentic and fulfilling relationship. 

In today’s show, you’ll discover why men externalize their dating struggles instead of owning them, how unresolved attachment wounds keep you in the same toxic dating patterns, how chasing external validation leads to loneliness, and most importantly, how to actually address these issues so they stop showing up in your dating life. 

Listen now. 

Show Highlights Include:

• The weird way getting more matches on dating apps can erode your confidence (1:09) 
• Do you think that women only care about status and wealth? Here’s why this is an example of classic projection of your insecurities (3:12)
• How taking the easy route in dating helps you overcome heartache faster—at the expense of a successful lasting relationship (5:14) 
• 3 questions that break through your unconscious projections sabotaging your dating life (6:52) 
• Why do people end up in the same, frustrating dating patterns no matter how much they've learned from previous relationships? They fall into one of these three categories… (8:31) 
• How obsessing over your profile on dating apps prevents you from experiencing true love and connection. Here’s why: (18:25) 
• The insidious “Grandiosity-Shame Dynamic” that explains why men struggle in their relationships with women (and how to conquer this shortcoming) (21:45) 
• How you’re setting yourself up for loneliness, resentment, and self-destruction in your dating life without even realizing it (24:50) 

For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/ 

Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery