Michael Slepian on the Secret Life of Secrets: How Do We Trust Others With Our Secrets EP 146

Jun 7, 2022

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Michael Slepian - The Secret Life of Secrets: How Do We Trust Others With Our Secrets | Brought to you by Babbel - https://babbel.com/passionstruck.

Who is Michael Slepian?

Michael Slepian Ph.D. is the Sanford C. Bernstein & Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics at Columbia University. A recipient of the Rising Star Award from the Association for Psychological Science, he is the leading expert on the psychology of secrets. Today we are discussing his book (which releases today), THE SECRET LIFE OF SECRETS: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are. His research has been covered by The New York Times, The Atlantic, The New Yorker, The Economist, The Wall Street Journal, the BBC, etc.

--► Buy Michael Slepian's New Book, The Secret Life of Secrets: https://amzn.to/3GPbIaF (Amazon link)

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What I discuss with Michael Slepian

0:00 Announcements
2:23 Introducing Michael Slepian
3:59 Family secrets
7:53 What is the definition of a secret?
9:03 How is secrecy different from privacy?
10:54 The 38 categories of secrets that people keep
13:43 The secrets of Tony Soprano and Edward Snowden
16:10 How does the concealing of secrets impact well-being?
20:26 How a chimpanzee helps illustrate the birth of secrets
28:27 Advice for how to handle secrecy with your kids
31:12 Groundbreaking hill slant research on secrets
35:23 Importance of doing secrecy research outside of a lab
43:51 Why does keeping a secret have the potential to do more harm than good?
46:10 Why do some secrets hurt while others do not?
48:15 Why do people fall into this unhelpful, negative thinking?
51:12 How does secrecy impact us accepting ourselves?
52:53 How to deflect direct questions in a conversation about a secret
1:00:27 Wrap Up and Synthesis

In this episode, Michael Slepian joins us to discuss his new book, The Secret Life of Secrets, where he gives a masterclass on the psychology of secrets. Drawing on over a decade of original research, Slepian reveals the surprising ways secrets permeate our lives and offers science-based strategies that make them easier to live with. The result is a rare window into the inner workings of our minds, our relationships, and our sense of who we are.

We discuss why Michael has spent the past decade studying the psychology of secrets. He reveals his research involving over 50,000 participants from around the world on why we keep the secrets we keep—most commonly addiction, infidelity, mental health struggles, romance, and financial hardship. We discuss the psychology behind secrets, how they affect us, and how to better understand and cope with them. Through the secrets you carry, you discover a hidden self, and so much more.

Where you can find Michael Slepian:

* Website: https://michaelslepian.com/

* LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelslepian/

* Columbia University: http://www.columbia.edu/~ms4992/

* Twitter: https://twitter.com/michaelslepian

Links

* My interview with Tricia Manning: https://passionstruck.com/tricia-manning-on-how-to-lead-with-heart/

* My interview with Sarah Fay: https://passionstruck.com/sarah-fay-pathological/

* My interview with Admiral James Stavridis: https://passionstruck.com/admiral-james-stavridis-to-risk-it-all/

* My solo episode on why micro choices matter: https://passionstruck.com/why-your-micro-choices-determine-your-life/

* My solo episode on why you must feel to heal: https://passionstruck.com/why-you-must-feel-to-find-emotional-healing/

-- Welcome to Passion Struck podcast, a show where you get to join me in exploring the mindset and philosophy of the world's most inspiring everyday heroes to learn their lessons to living intentionally. Passion Struck aspires to speak to the humanity of people in a way that makes them want to live better, be better and impact.

Learn more about me: https://johnrmiles.com.

Stay tuned for my latest project, my upcoming book, which will be published in summer 2022.

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