Life Coaching with Christine Hassler EP 300: Let Go of the Relationship that is Based on Your Past So You are Open to the Relationship that is Aligned with Your Future with Linda
This episode is about releasing addictive patterns by remembering the love within us. Today’s caller, Linda, recently ended an on-again-off-again two-year relationship. She questions which wounds are causing her patterns. We discuss her soul’s journey, how she is not broken, and how she can help herself feel safe, seen, and loved.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode300]
It is often unresolved issues from our past hurts, wounds, and things that were hard to go through that impacted our beliefs, attachment style, trauma response, and psyche. However, it is important not to see ourselves as wounded or broken. Personal development is best addressed as a learning opportunity, not from a fix-it mindset.
When we don’t have a great model for love and when we feel worthless, relationships, even unhealthy ones, are going to be addictive. Because, often, we confuse love for something familiar.
Even if you are an addict or have been in the past it doesn’t mean you haven’t made progress. Just the fact you’re listening to this show and this kind of information, means you are a seeker. You want out of the addiction, patterns, bad relationships, and the scarcity mentality. It can be frustrating if you feel you have a long way to go but acknowledge the wisdom of your soul for at least getting you to where you are now.
You will get farther if you continue to be proud of yourself for where you are.
If you have been wanting to join my Personal Mastery Course but just haven’t done it yet, now is a great time to sign up. On July 8, 2021, there will be a one-day event including personal coaching from me. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to join. The call will be recorded if you cannot make it live.
Consider/Ask Yourself
- Are you still in a relationship or not quite over a relationship you were in and out of, that on some level you know wasn’t good for you but you just can't seem to let go?
- Did you have an absentee parent or parents or caregivers who didn’t give you the security and safety every child truly deserves?
- Are you learning how to love yourself and think that maybe you have forgotten?
- Are you trying to figure out what wound in your life is creating some of the undesirable events?
Linda’s Question:
Linda has been in an on-and-off relationship and would like to know which childhood wound is creating this pattern.
Linda’s Key Insights and Ahas:
- She recently ended an on-and-off two-year relationship.
- She feels she lost herself in the relationship but is attached and addicted to it.
- She was critical of herself as a child.
- Her parents divorced when she was three and she lived with her grandparents.
- She was bullied for many years as a child.
- She feels safe hiding and not being seen.
- She would like to feel loved.
- She goes back to the relationship because of shared interests.
- She wants to spend time on her own and remember how to love herself.
- She has feelings of abandonment and rejection.
- She needs to feel seen and that someone is there for her.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She needs to remember how much she loves herself.
- Write a list of all the things that did not work in the relationship and read it when she feels like reaching out to him.
- Write a list of the amazing things about herself and read it every day.
- Turn up the voice of her inner parent to feel safe, seen, and loved.
Takeaways:
- If you are in a relationship you feel attached or addicted to and you continually justify it in your head, take off your rose-colored glasses and ask yourself if you have a high tolerance for putting up with crap.
- Focus on falling back in love with yourself.
Sponsor:
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services
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