98 | Olga Khazan on Living and Flourishing While Being Weird
May 25, 2020
01:01:43
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Olga Khazan, a writer for The Atlantic, discusses the challenges and advantages of being 'weird'. The podcast explores the science of nonconformity, societal norms, tightness versus looseness in cultures, and the benefits of embracing one's uniqueness. It also delves into the impact of ostracism and the value of finding acceptance and a supportive community.
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Quick takeaways
Society values normalcy and conformity, but being different brings new perspectives and creativity.
Social norms can vary across contexts and violating them can lead to ostracism.
Coping strategies for being labeled as weird vary, from finding support to navigating a balance between conformity and non-conformity.
Deep dives
The Power of Being Weird
Being different from those around you is often labeled as 'weird'. Society places a lot of value on normalcy and conformity, which can lead to those who don't follow the established norms being ostracized. However, there are benefits to being different. Standing outside the norms can bring new perspectives and creativity. It's important to rethink our preference for everything to be normal and appreciate the uniqueness that comes with being 'weird'.
The Influence of Social Norms
Social norms play a significant role in determining what is considered normal and what is considered weird. There are tight-knit societies with strict rules and expectations, and loose communities with more flexible standards. These norms can vary across different contexts, and violating them can lead to ostracism. The example of bathing suits illustrates how arbitrary and subtle these norms can be, with specific rules about what is acceptable and what is not in terms of clothing and nudity.
Coping with Being Weird
Being labeled as weird can be challenging, and different coping strategies exist. Finding support from like-minded individuals can provide a sense of belonging and understanding. Some people embrace their uniqueness and take pride in being different. Others navigate their weirdness by finding a balance between conformity and non-conformity, expressing their individuality while fitting into certain social expectations. It is essential to recognize that coping strategies vary for each person and situation, and there isn't a one-size-fits-all approach.
The Influence of Genetics and Culture on Weirdness
Genetics and culture play a role in determining how much individuals uphold societal norms. Research suggests that a variation of the dopamine D4 receptor gene influences how much individuals endorse the values of their culture. For example, a European American carrying this gene may lean toward individualism, while an Asian with a variation of the gene may lean toward interdependence. However, it is important to note that genetics alone do not predetermined whether someone is a norm breaker or not, as factors like upbringing and environment also play a significant role.
The Benefits of Embracing Weirdness
Embracing one's weirdness can have positive outcomes, such as the development of creativity and a strong sense of personal principles. Dissenting voices and nonconformity in a group can lead to better decision-making and more innovative ideas. Embracing weirdness can also help individuals define their moral compass and confidently stick to their core values. However, it is essential to strike a balance and carefully choose where to embrace weirdness and when to conform to societal norms to maximize the benefits.
Each of us is different, in some way or another, from every other person. But some are more different than others — and the rest of the world never stops letting them know. Societies set up “norms” that define what constitute acceptable standards of behavior, appearance, and even belief. But there will always be those who find themselves, intentionally or not, in violation of those norms — people who we might label “weird.” Olga Khazan was weird in one particular way, growing up in a Russian immigrant family in the middle of Texas. Now as an established writer, she has been exploring what it means to be weird, and the senses in which that quality can both harm you and provide you with hidden advantages.
Olga Khazan is a staff writer for The Atlantic, covering health, gender, and science. She has previously written for the Los Angeles Times, the Washington Post, Forbes, and other publications. Among her awards are the National Headliner Awards for Magazine Online Writing. Her new book is Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World.