FREESTYLE FRIDAY | The Problem With Alpha Males

The worst advertisement for being an alpha male is, in fact, alpha males.

There’s an entire movement now of Alpha Male influencers that have taken the social algorithms by storm and as someone who is an ultra-competitive dude, I’ve like some stuff and not liked some stuff. 

So today I’m gonna talk about the things I like and the things that I don’t like. 

Let’s start with the positives. 

First of all, I like that there are men who are standing up the broader attack on manhood as whole that seems to be happening in our culture. 

This has been happening more and more recently where if there’s a man in a tv show or movie, he’s often portrayed as this clumsy, out of touch, mistake factory, and although some of the characters are fantastic, it gets a little old and it teaches people that that’s what men are. 

And look, I get it. Men were held in such high regard for all of human history that it makes them the easy target now. 

But now we are experiencing a pendulum swing in the opposite direction and it’s becoming hard to find good examples of what it means to be a man. 

So I like that there are some men who are saying, this is it. This is the example. 

I also like that it is bringing more attention to the conversation from people who have been fighting so hard for their rights for so long and unintentionally shitting on manhood and are now realizing that championing themselves doesn’t mean they have to put down another group. 

Yes, I understand the irony of that statement. 

So there are some good things coming out of some of this stuff, but now I want to address some of the bad things. 

First of all, I say that alpha males are the worst advertisement for alpha male mentality because even though some of them have good things to say, the way to market your content in that world is to attract people who want to become alpha. 

So instead of focusing on the boring and most important parts of being an alpha, like being a provider or protector, or serving those around you, or leading with love and empathy, but still valuing competition, struggle, hard work, and traditional masculine values, they focus on more marketable aspects of the results that some alphas have…like being surrounded by chicks in bikinis, or owning three supercars, or sitting in a bathtub full of money. And that marketing mistakenly implies that those things are what make you an alpha, not the person you are or how you show up in the world. 

Secondly, I don’t like how some of the alpha culture does exactly what I was saying earlier. They demean other groups in order to prop themselves up. Not only is that not the right thing to do, it’s the complete opposite of how a true alpha would act. 

The alpha isn’t the loud/obnoxious one in the room. They’re often the ones who act with the most quiet confidence. Their last worry is whether or not you or anyone else thinks they’re an alpha. They have the security and confidence in themselves because they focus on building an impeccable relationship with them first and foremost. They know who they are and they don’t need yours or my validation to prove it to themselves. 

If you are an alpha, you don’t feel the need to prove it. You can rest assured that people will know to trust you and rely on you over time because that is the person you are. Not the brand you are pretending to be.

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