The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno Session 18: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 2)
Jan 13, 2026
Tension rises as Brian grapples with feeling targeted and defensive, reluctant to acknowledge his role in their struggles. A breakthrough occurs during a heartfelt apology about his lack of support during critical moments in their lives. Julie skillfully connects Brian's overworking and perfectionism to deeper issues of shame and a desperate need to prove himself. Listeners are prompted to examine their own patterns of over-functioning and the emotional costs of avoiding vulnerability. A poignant exploration of accountability unfolds.
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Shame Fuels Overworking And Disconnection
- Shame drives overperformance that ultimately drains relationships.
- Success won't heal shame; emotional repair and connection do.
Take Ownership Before Demanding Change
- Do own your part in the negative cycle before expecting your partner to change.
- Do explore the impact of your moves and the causes behind them.
Balance Vulnerability Or It Becomes Unsafe
- Try to balance vulnerability between partners; one-sided work isn't safe.
- Avoid asking one partner to keep doing all the emotional labor alone.
