225 Fears, Hopes, and Aftercare: Preparing for Polycule Gatherings

Navigating shared spaces as a polycule can feel like stepping into uncharted territory. Whether you're attending a community event, family gathering, or social outing with multiple partners, the absence of cultural scripts can leave us feeling uncertain and vulnerable. Many of us struggle with questions like: How do we introduce each other? What level of affection is appropriate? What happens if we run into unexpected people?

These concerns are completely normal when venturing beyond the default monogamy script that society provides. The good news is that with some preparation and self-awareness, we can create meaningful experiences together while honoring everyone's boundaries.

In this episode, we talk about:

— Why approaching polycule gatherings as "experiments" rather than perfect events or potential disasters creates a healthier mindset

— The importance of having intentional conversations before spending time together in shared spaces

— How to handle introductions, labels, and public displays of affection when cultural scripts don't exist for your relationship structure

— Creating personal "self-rescue plans" for moments when you feel excluded or uncomfortable in group settings

— The value of separating reconnection, aftercare, and debriefing after shared experiences

— Why some people feel energized by challenging social norms while others find it uncomfortable

— How to navigate situations where some partners are "out" and others aren't

— The emotional impact of feeling like someone's "secret" and how different people respond to various levels of relationship visibility

— Why processing time varies between individuals

— The importance of community support when navigating relationships outside mainstream norms

Resources mentioned in this episode:

— Self-regulation skills training available on YouTube

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions