Dating Smarter w/ Dr. Helen Fisher & Dr. Justin Garcia
Dec 2, 2022
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Dr. Helen Fisher and Dr. Justin Garcia discuss the fascinating results of their research on dating, revealing that hookup culture is dead and singles prioritize political awareness over looks. They explore shifts in dating behavior during the pandemic, the benefits of sexual exploration, the outcomes of hookups, and the importance of trust and communication in relationships. Listeners are encouraged to be optimistic about finding their match.
The dating landscape is shifting towards more conscious and intentional connections, with people moving away from hookup culture and prioritizing long-term commitments.
Singles are willing to give others a chance and take their time, with almost half reporting falling in love with someone they initially didn't find attractive.
Mental health, politics, and open-mindedness have become important factors in dating and relationship compatibility, highlighting a greater awareness and desire to address these aspects in relationship dynamics.
Deep dives
Smart dating and deeper connections
According to the Singles in America survey, the dating landscape is changing as people are seeking deeper connections both physically and emotionally. They are dating more consciously and intentionally, moving away from hookup culture. The survey found that 74% of respondents are looking for someone they want to marry, signifying a shift towards long-term commitments. Furthermore, 49% of singles reported falling in love with someone they did not initially find attractive, indicating a willingness to take their time and give others a chance. Additionally, the survey revealed that 36% of singles are willing to wait on sex, prioritizing getting to know someone first.
The rise of online dating and video chat
Online dating has become a popular avenue for finding love, with dating apps and websites connecting singles more than traditional methods. The study shows that 40% of men and 33% of women are now willing to wait longer before having sex with a new partner. Video chats before the first date have also become increasingly common, fostering deeper conversations and allowing singles to establish a connection before meeting in person. This vetting process has helped singles avoid bad dates and feel more comfortable during initial encounters.
The importance of mental health in dating
The survey highlights that mental health has taken on a significant role in dating and relationships. 87% of singles consider prioritizing their partner's mental health to be very important, while 81% engage in self-care monthly. Furthermore, 81% of singles also believe that mental health is good for their sex life, showing a positive correlation between mental well-being and sexual satisfaction. This shift demonstrates a greater awareness and desire to address mental health concerns in relationship dynamics.
Changing attitudes towards politics and dating
The data shows that politics has become an important factor in dating and relationship compatibility. While most singles do not seek partners who share identical political views, 40% want someone who can discuss multiple sides of political issues. However, openness and open-mindedness concerning politics are crucial, with 58% stating that it is a deal breaker if a potential partner lacks open-mindedness. This shift reflects the increasing significance of political alignment in relationship dynamics.
Overcoming dating anxieties and making the first move
For individuals who experience anxiety when it comes to physical intimacy and making the first move, the key is to be open and communicative. The survey shows that taking the initiative is welcomed by the majority of men, and clear communication can help navigate any discomfort. Building trust, being happy, and engaging in activities that facilitate conversation and connection are essential aspects of successful dating experiences.
Dating - for most of us, it's a necessary evil. We fear rejection, don’t know where to look for our people, or simply feel it's a hopeless waste of time. But as my guests on today’s show can attest, the research behind dating may tell a different story. Today, I’m joined by Anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher and evolutionary biologist Dr. Justin Garcia of the Kinsey Institute. They pulled data from 5,000 American singles ages 18-89 as part of Match’s annual Singles in America survey, and the results are fascinating. People dating more consciously - hookup culture is dead, and singles are prioritizing things like political awareness rather than looks. We’ll unpack their findings and why today’s singles should be more optimistic than ever about finding their match.