S3 Ep 49: Parenting on Display: How to Navigate Parenting In Front of Others w/ Susan Stiffelman
Dec 8, 2023
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Marriage and Family therapist Susan Stiffelman shares practical tips on how to navigate parenting in front of others, handle challenging situations during stressful holiday gatherings, and address a child's behavior by understanding their feelings and motivations. The podcast also discusses techniques for self-regulation, the importance of nurturing children through moments of rupture, and supporting children through negative emotions.
Having open conversations and setting expectations with family members can help navigate challenging parenting situations in front of others.
Shifting our mindset, practicing self-regulation, and focusing on reducing our own stress can positively influence our children's behavior during the holiday season.
Deep dives
Navigating Parenting in Front of Family Members
Parenting in front of family members can be challenging, as we often feel judged or embarrassed. It's important to plan ahead and have strategies in place to manage these situations. One strategy is to have open conversations with family members beforehand, expressing concerns and setting expectations. Another helpful approach is to practice self-compassion and acceptance, recognizing that we can't control our child's behavior entirely. Making repairs and offering genuine apologies when necessary can help rebuild relationships with family members and teach our children important life skills.
Managing Expectations and Shifting Mindsets
During the holiday season, there can be a lot of stress and high expectations, leading to tantrums and struggles. It is important to shift our mindset and let go of rigid expectations. Decisions about bedtime, treats, and presents should be made with flexibility and consideration for the overall well-being of our children. By focusing on regulating ourselves and finding ways to reduce our own stress, we can have a more positive influence on our children's behavior.
Embracing Repair and Teaching Resilience
Repair is an essential part of any relationship. When our children make mistakes or exhibit challenging behavior, it is crucial to respond with empathy and understanding. We can guide our children through the process of making repairs, helping them understand the impact of their actions and taking responsibility for their behavior. Teaching resilience involves acknowledging the emotions involved and finding ways to support our children as they navigate the consequences of their actions. Through repair, we can strengthen the bond with our children and help them develop important life skills.
Recognizing the Long-Term Impact
The experiences and challenges our children face in childhood shape their ability to cope with disappointments and difficulties in the long run. By allowing our children to experience and process their emotions, without rushing to fix everything, we help them develop resilience. When we provide a steady presence and support, even in difficult moments, we contribute to their growth as balanced and capable individuals. These experiences can lay the foundation for strong relationships, effective coping skills, and emotional well-being in adulthood.
Join us in this insightful episode as we sit down with Susan Stiffelman, Marriage and Family therapist and licensed psychotherapist who has been working with families for over 30 years, to explore the best way to navigate parenting in front of others. Susan also shares practical tips on how to handle challenging parenting situations, especially those that might pop up during stressful holiday gatherings.
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