Steph and Josh speak with Dr Golly about having another baby - KICBUMP
Nov 12, 2024
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In this engaging conversation, Dr. Golly, a pediatrician and author of children’s books, chats with Steph and Josh about preparing their toddler, Harvey, for a new sibling. They discuss effective ways to communicate this big news to young children and the expected behaviors during this transition. Dr. Golly emphasizes the natural communication between toddlers and babies, offering insights on managing a toddler's independence while welcoming a newborn. Expect laughter as they share anecdotes about parenting challenges and writing children's stories!
Proactive communication strategies can help ease the transition for toddlers expecting a new sibling while minimizing feelings of neglect.
Understanding toddlers' nonverbal cues is crucial, as they often sense shifts in family dynamics before adults recognize them.
Sharing parenting responsibilities through 'cross-parenting' supports both parents and toddlers, fostering a balanced and inclusive family environment.
Deep dives
Navigating the Transition to Siblinghood
Expanding a family from one child to two can be both exciting and daunting. Expectant parents often worry about how this change will affect their existing child's feelings and the overall family dynamic. Acknowledging these concerns, proactive communication and positive reinforcement can significantly ease the transition for both the parents and the toddler. This episode provides useful strategies to help parents address toddlers' feelings, minimize feelings of neglect, and encourage a positive bond between siblings.
Understanding Toddler Communication
Toddlers have an innate ability to pick up on nonverbal cues and emotional states, allowing them to respond to their environment in ways that adults often overlook. When families expect a new baby, experiencing behavioral changes in toddlers can be common as they sense shifts in familial dynamics. By reinforcing a toddler’s observable and communicative behaviors, parents can help smooth the transition and enhance sibling relationships. This episode emphasizes the value of fostering toddlers' understanding of infant communication through positive engagement.
Age-Appropriate Communication About the New Baby
To effectively discuss a new baby with a toddler, parents must tailor their approach based on the child's developmental stage and interests. Using relatable concepts, such as comparing size to familiar objects or integrating storytelling elements, can aid toddlers in grasping the concept of a new sibling. It is essential for parents to create ongoing dialogues, introducing the idea of a new baby gradually while offering opportunities for the toddler to engage with dolls or age-appropriate media. The episode underlines the importance of planting ideas early, allowing toddlers to absorb expectations over time.
Maintaining Balance Between Parenting Roles
Having two parents share responsibilities during the early stages of introducing a new baby can prevent feelings of jealousy and promote a balanced family dynamic. Contrary to traditional roles that often see mothers bearing the brunt of baby care, the episode suggests an approach called 'cross-parenting.' This model encourages both parents to equally engage with the newborn while also affording the toddler uninterrupted time with each parent. Such a strategy not only supports the mother's recovery from childbirth but also reinforces to the toddler that they still hold importance in the family unit.
Fostering Autonomy and Engagement
Promoting a toddler’s sense of autonomy during the transition to siblinghood can lead to healthier behaviors and a stronger sibling relationship. Providing choices, allowing involvement in the baby's care, and positively reinforcing gentle interactions contribute to a supportive environment for the older child. Parents must balance the need for safety with the toddler's desire for independence, as toddlers can often understand expectations when framed positively. The episode emphasizes that empowering toddlers with decision-making fosters ownership and pride, potentially lowering feelings of resentment toward a new sibling.
Dr Golly is a paediatrician (he’s actually Harvey's paediatrician!) specialising in unsettled babies & poor sleep, and a father of three. His third children’s book ‘Our Baby, Our Baby What Did You Say?’reveals what toddlers can pick up in babies better than parents....which is a very convenient topic at the moment as Steph & Josh navigate how they tell their three-year-old Harvey that he’s getting a sibling!
In this episode Steph, Josh & Dr Golly discuss the best way for parents to tell toddlers that they are having another baby, what kind of behaviour parents can expect of their toddlers during this time, dividing responsibilities between a newborn and a toddler, and the importance of toddlers retaining their sense of autonomy.
Dr Golly was on KICBUMP in December 2022. Search for the episode ‘Toddler tantrums and toilet training - KICBUMP with Dr Golly’ https://pod.fo/e/224090