I Wish You Knew

Avoidants and How to Love Them | E24 | I Wish You Knew Podcast

7 snips
Apr 19, 2024
Unpack the world of avoidant attachment in men and its impact on relationships. From childhood experiences to societal pressure, learn effective strategies for building trust. Explore the role of oxytocin in bonding and ways to foster a secure connection. Challenge beliefs about relationships and attachment dynamics.
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INSIGHT

Avoidance As An Evolutionary Strategy

  • Avoidant attachment is an evolutionary adaptation for surviving dangerous environments by emotionally shielding oneself.
  • It is not a personality disorder but a protective strategy that can be maladaptive in modern relationships.
INSIGHT

Brain Chemistry Drives Bonding Patterns

  • Avoidant men often show low oxytocin and rely on dopamine-driven stimulation rather than bonding chemicals.
  • Culture's dopamine binge (social media, novelty) amplifies avoidant tendencies and reduces bonding opportunities.
ADVICE

Lead With Clear, Fair Offers

  • Women should step forward with structured, non-threatening offers of love rather than demanding emotional exposure.
  • Lead with fairness, clarity and selective trust to avoid triggering an avoidant partner's flight response.
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