🎤 How To Fail LIVE: Caitlin Moran on parenting failures, body image and big vaginas
Dec 7, 2022
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Caitlin Moran, brilliant, witty, and generous, discusses her experience with her daughter's eating disorder, childhood insecurities, learning to love herself, and the joy of female solidarity. They also explore reclaiming sweat as women, supporting loved ones with mental illness, being a poisonous person, the power of being an interviewer, and embracing self-love and accepting compliments.
Choosing kindness and creating something positive is more productive than engaging in destructive behavior online.
Transitioning from a mean-spirited journalist to a more authentic, positive, and joyful writer.
The value of embracing authenticity and genuine kindness in all aspects of life.
Being respectful and an enthusiast when engaging in conversations or interviews can have a profound effect on others' lives.
Deep dives
The Pressure to Destroy: How I Went from a Cheerful Voice to a Poisonous Person
When I first started writing, I believed that to succeed in the industry, I had to adopt a ruthless and sarcastic writing style. Inspired by male writers who would tear down others in print, I wanted to be a hot young gunslinger, annihilating bands and artists. I embraced this approach and even reveled in being overly critical. However, over time, I realized that this destructive mentality was not who I truly was. I met my now-husband, who encouraged me to be more authentic and kinder in my writing. I learned that rather than tearing others down, I could focus on creating something better. This realization changed my perspective on writing and paved the way for a more positive and joyful approach.
The Importance of Recognizing the Power of Social Media and Choosing Kindness
As social media became a prominent platform for expressing opinions, I observed a pattern of users, especially within progressive movements, who would engage in destructive behavior, seeking to destroy others' ideas and stances. I came to understand that instead of engaging in this destructive cycle, it is far more productive and beneficial to focus on delivering a better alternative. Rather than attacking someone online, I choose to devote my energy to creating something positive and inspiring.
The Journey from Mean Music Journalism to Discovering Authenticity
When I started my career in music journalism, I felt the need to adopt a critical and biting writing style, emulating the dominant male voices in the industry. I believed that to succeed, I had to destroy bands and artists in my reviews. However, I soon realized that this approach was not true to who I was. I found that my true passion lay in celebrating music and artists, rather than tearing them down. I transitioned from a mean-spirited journalist to a more authentic, positive, and joyful writer.
Recognizing the Power of Kindness and Authenticity in Writing and Life
My journey from a destructive writing style to a kinder, more authentic approach has taught me the value of choosing kindness in all aspects of life. I have found that being true to oneself and spreading positivity can have a profound impact, not only in writing but also in personal interactions. By embracing authenticity and genuine kindness, we can create a ripple effect of positivity and inspire others to do the same.
The Importance of Respecting Others' Secrets and Vulnerability
Catlin Moran emphasizes the importance of being respectful when people trust us with their secrets or share vulnerable information. She mentions that we have a profound effect on others' lives, and it is crucial to remember that when we have conversations or interviews. Moran believes that being an enthusiast and pointing out things we like is an underrated job as a communicator, whether it's in writing, tweeting, or everyday conversations.
The Influence of Body Image and Beauty Standards on Moran
Moran shares her personal experience of feeling like a failure as a teenage girl due to societal beauty standards. She discusses how she didn't conform to the typical standards of being thin and beautiful, and it affected her self-esteem. However, as she grew older, she realized that not fitting into those beauty ideals was a gift, and she found ways to feel better about herself through personal style and self-care.
The Value of Writing and Observing Others as an Outsider
Moran reflects on her early years when she felt like an outsider due to her unconventional upbringing and appearance. As a result, she became a keen observer, constantly watching and absorbing information about people and the world. This outsider perspective and her love for writing led her to become a writer and share her observations and thoughts with the world.
All this week, I'll be dropping the recordings of our How To Fail live shows, held at Shoredtich Town Hall earlier this year.
Now, I know we shouldn't have favourites. Having a podcast and labelling one of your episodes as your 'favourite' is akin to choosing your preferred child. But, sod it, this is one of my favourite conversations of all time. Caitlin Moran is as brilliant, witty and generous as you might expect. Here, she talks about the terrible sadness of realising her daughter had an eating disorder and how she didn't deal with it in the right way at first. She also talks about childhood insecurities, learning to love herself, the joy of female solidarity and plenty more. You will laugh. But you might also cry, so do bring some tissues.
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This podcast was recorded on 6th October 2022 in Shoreditch Town Hall and is sponsored by Sweaty Betty. You have a chance to get 20% off everything until 14th December with the code HOWTOFAIL20. That’s 20% off everything until 14th December with the code HOWTOFAIL20 on sweatybetty.com Terms and conditions apply, and can be found on sweatybetty.com
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How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted and produced by Elizabeth Day. To contact us, email howtofailpod@gmail.com