Special Edition: Parents Under Pressure - Why We’re Stressed & What to Do About It
Nov 16, 2024
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Darby Saxbe, a clinical psychologist from USC, dives into the intense stress American parents face today. She discusses how societal shifts and the pandemic exacerbate feelings of isolation among caregivers. The conversation highlights the importance of granting children independence to foster learning and creativity. Saxbe also addresses the pitfalls of helicopter parenting and urges parents to cultivate supportive environments. With insights into guilt and the need for balance, this discussion offers valuable strategies for navigating modern parenting challenges.
American parents are facing unprecedented stress due to unrealistic societal expectations and a lack of community support, exacerbated by the pandemic.
Fostering children's independence by allowing moments of boredom can alleviate parental pressure and promote healthier family dynamics.
Deep dives
The Rising Stress Among Parents
A significant issue highlighted is the overwhelming stress that nearly half of American parents report experiencing daily. This stress, exacerbated by the COVID-19 pandemic, stems from various factors, including unrealistic societal expectations and insufficient support systems. Many parents struggle to meet these expectations while feeling isolated in their parenting journeys, leading to feelings of loneliness and burnout. The societal shift towards individualistic parenting has placed a burden on parents who historically benefited from community support.
The Importance of Community and Support
The discussion emphasizes the need for community and extended family support in parenting, which has diminished in modern society. Parents often lack the infrastructures that support child-rearing, such as accessible childcare and familial involvement, resulting in additional stress. In countries with lower parenting stress, there is typically more comprehensive support systems in place, showing that societal recognition of parenting as a communal responsibility can alleviate familial burdens. This shift in perspective would promote a healthier environment for both parents and children.
Reevaluating Parenting Roles
A thought-provoking point raised is that parents should not feel compelled to consistently entertain or supervise their children, allowing for moments of boredom and independence. Historical approaches to parenting involved children observing and mimicking adults rather than being the constant focus of their parents' attention. Encouraging self-sufficiency and creativity in children is beneficial for their development and can relieve some of the pressure felt by parents. By fostering an environment where children can explore and learn from everyday experiences, parents can create more balanced family dynamics and reduce overall stress.
The U.S. Surgeon General issued an advisory earlier this year about the stress and burnout American parents are facing, so why is parenting so hard for so many Americans?
And, perhaps more importantly, what can we do about it?
Darby Saxbe is a clinical psychologist and professor at the University of Southern California whose work focuses on how parenting changes the brain and body.
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