The Deeper Truth About Relationships No One Teaches You | ft. Vanessa Bennett Heal Thy Self w/ Dr. G #449

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Episode Description

What if the person you're most attracted to is actually the worst person for you—not because they're bad, but because that intense chemistry means they mirror your deepest childhood wounds?

Vanessa Bennett, depth therapist and author of The Motherhood Myth, has worked with thousands of couples and seen the same pattern destroy relationships over and over: we use relationships to hide from ourselves when the whole point is that they're meant to mirror us back to who we really are.

This isn't surface-level relationship advice. This is the psychology of the soul—the unconscious patterns, attachment wounds, and generational programming that keep us stuck in cycles we can't seem to break.

Vanessa explains why expecting your partner to heal you is the most common mistake in relationships, how "chemistry" often just means "familiar dysfunction," and the critical difference between setting boundaries and building walls. She also reveals why little boys are actually more emotional than little girls (research proves it)—and how society shames that out of them until they can only access feelings through anger, addiction, or their partners.

Discover:

• The "choose me" wound—why women are conditioned to place their worth in being chosen, and how this creates self-abandonment in relationships

• Why you keep attracting the same type—the symptom is serving a purpose, and until you understand what that purpose is, the pattern won't change

• The pendulum swing trap—how "doing the work" on boundaries often swings from no boundaries to walls and ultimatums

• The potential fallacy—why staying in a relationship with who someone could be instead of who they are prevents both of you from growing

• Codependency as a societal issue—it's not just the wives of alcoholics; it's what we've all been taught love looks like

• The repair that changes everything—how to fight in front of your kids without traumatizing them (hint: the rupture isn't the problem, the missing repair is)

• Why men "siphon" emotions through their partners—and how this dynamic explodes when children enter the picture

• The self-abandonment pattern—how learning to distrust your own body as a child creates adults who can't recognize their own truth

Here's the uncomfortable reality: your partner isn't meant to complete you, heal you, or make you feel enough. They're meant to activate the wounds you came here to heal—so you can finally do the work.

Find Vanessa Bennett:

Website - https://www.vanessabennett.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/vanessasbennett

My one stop shop for quality supplements: https://theswellscore.com/pages/drg

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

1:43 - Rapid fire

4:48 - What is depth psychology and the psychology of the soul

12:35 - Why expecting someone to heal you destroys relationships

21:35 - Why women stay with who someone could be

28:08 - Society taught us codependency

38:55 - Why boys are actually more emotional than girls (and what society does to them)

47:26 - The one thing parents must do

56:36 - How to argue in front of your kids without traumatizing them