You’re Not Here to Fix Everyone | S04.E16

In this episode of Small Medium at Large, Rebecca answers listener questions about boundaries, over-functioning, and the deep exhaustion that comes from always being the helper. She speaks directly to empaths, Enneagram Nines, and anyone who struggles with guilt, people-pleasing, or the urge to fix and save others—especially family members and children. Rebecca explores why setting boundaries can feel destabilizing, how to stay grounded when others react strongly to your growth, and how to step out of over-responsibility without abandoning love. Through spirit-led guidance and practical tools, she reminds us that boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about coming back to ourselves and creating healthier, more honest connections.

Key Takeaways

Boundaries are an act of love, not punishment. You can care deeply about someone and still choose distance if the relationship is harming your well-being.

Over-empathy often turns into over-responsibility. Just because you can carry something doesn’t mean it’s yours to carry.

Guilt doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Discomfort is often a sign you’re breaking old patterns, not failing at love.

You are responsible to others, not for them. This is especially important when releasing the need to fix, save, or heal loved ones—including your children.

Spirit can help you stay aligned. Inviting guidance, noticing body signals, and practicing energetic release can help you recognize when you’re slipping back into over-functioning.

Books mentioned in this episode:
What’s Your Heaven? by Rebecca Rosen
Boundary Boss by Terry Cole
Too Much by Terry Cole

Program mentioned:
9 Lives: The Spirit of The Enneagram — Rebecca and her brother’s Enneagram program designed to combine spiritual insight with deep self-discovery work.