174. The 3 Biggest Mistakes in the First 30 Days of Divorce

What to avoid before emotions derail your case

The first 30 days of divorce can feel like a tornado: unpredictable, emotional, and expensive if you’re not careful. In this episode, hosts Andrea Rappaport (comedian + marketing guru) and Morgan L. Stogsdill (family law powerhouse) share the top three mistakes people make in the early days of divorce, and how to avoid them.

From texting your ex when you’re angry, to oversharing on social media, to thinking you can “speed through” the legal process. This episode breaks down the emotional, financial, and legal landmines that derail people again and again. You’ll laugh, cringe, and probably see yourself in a few of these moments (we’ve all been there).

If you’re newly separated or about to file, this episode is your permission slip to pause, breathe, and get smart.

🧾 In This Episode:

1️⃣ Mistake #1: Expecting it to get easier right away

1. Why things actually feel worse before they get better
2. How to ask your attorney for a 30-day roadmap
3. The importance of managing adrenaline and expectations

2️⃣ Mistake #2: Venting online (and via text)

1. Why your DMs, TikToks, and “inspirational quotes” can backfire legally
2. The true cost of an emotional text (yes, every angry email = more billable hours)
3. How to protect your privacy and your kids’ peace during divorce

3️⃣ Mistake #3: Rushing through paperwork to “get it over with”

1. Why going too fast leads to expensive mistakes
2. How to give yourself grace — and time — in the process
3. Why “slow and steady” really does win this race

💬 Key Quotes

“Don’t pop the popcorn and let everybody watch the show. Go to the real people in your world who are there to lift you up.” – Andrea Rappaport

“Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Sometimes it’s day by day, other times hour by hour — and that’s okay.” – Morgan Stogsdill

The early days of divorce are all about emotional control, clarity, and smart strategy. Expect the chaos, plan for it, and don’t react from pain. Whether you’re tempted to overshare online, over-email your lawyer, or overthink your ex ... stop, take a breath, and remember: you’ve got this. And we’ve got you.

🔗 Resources Mentioned

1. 💌 Join Our Private Community: For support, laughter, and real talk
2. ✉️ Truly Engaging Cards: Connect with your people this holiday season ([link + promo code in show notes])

We are truly engaged with Truly Engaging cards. It's THE BEST way to remain connected with your community. Use code: NOTSUCKTE to get 10% off your order and ask to have Alisiah help you!! www.trulyengaging.com

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course

Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.

Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce

Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport

Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago