Louise Perry, the author of 'The Case Against the Sexual Revolution', discusses the complexities of dating and relationships today. She argues that the sexual revolution has led to a breakdown in connections between men and women. Topics include Gen Z's loneliness, the paradox of choice in dating apps, and the challenges faced by successful women. Perry suggests that a revival of Christian sexual ethics might help restore meaningful connections. The conversation also touches on the evolving dynamics of marriage and the impact of societal shifts on love.
The breakdown in romantic relationships today is largely attributed to the sexual revolution's impact on accountability and courtship norms.
Despite having many dating app options, young people report greater difficulties in forming meaningful connections due to overwhelming choices and differing relationship expectations.
Louise Perry advocates for a return to traditional courtship practices and marriage structures to better support emotional and familial stability.
Deep dives
The Breakdown of Sexual Relations
Many young people today experience a significant breakdown in romantic and sexual relations, particularly between men and women. Data shows that a large percentage of Gen Z individuals report not engaging in sexual activity and feeling chronically lonely. Louise Perry attributes this decline to multiple societal changes, but chiefly to the sexual revolution, which she argues has paradoxically liberated women while also diminishing men's accountability in intimate relationships. This breakdown has made navigating romantic connections increasingly difficult as societal structures that once guided courtship have become much less formalized.
The Paradox of Dating Apps
Despite the proliferation of dating apps designed to facilitate connections, many young people find themselves in a paradox where meeting potential partners has become more complicated. The overwhelming number of choices available can lead to indecision and superficial interactions akin to the frustration experienced when browsing for films on streaming services. Furthermore, the inherent differences in dating preferences between men and women can intensify misunderstandings, as men may feel they can take their time to explore options while women face pressures related to their biological clocks. This imbalance results in a challenging dating landscape where many struggle to find meaningful relationships.
The Risks of Casual Sex
Engaging in casual sex may seem liberating but carries significant emotional and psychological risks, particularly for women. Women are biologically more inclined to bond with their partners through sexual intimacy, which can complicate feelings in casual relationships, leading to imbalances and emotional distress. Perry advises a more strategic approach to relationships, suggesting that individuals should consider delaying sexual intimacy until a deeper commitment is established to mitigate emotional attachments that can cloud judgment. This perspective challenges the current normalization of casual sex in dating culture, encouraging a return to more traditional courtship practices.
The Changing Landscape of Marriage
The average age for marriage has significantly increased, and marriage rates are at historically low levels, raising questions about the institution's future. Many young people today approach marriage with high expectations, seeking deep emotional fulfillment and support that may be unrealistic. Perry emphasizes that marriage, when framed as a partnership that offers stability and mutual support, is crucial for addressing issues of female vulnerability during child-rearing. While modern perspectives on marriage often involve navigating emotions and personal fulfillment, she argues that the fundamental benefits of marriage in protecting and supporting family structures should be recognized.
The Cultural Shift in Values
Recent trends have shown a shift back towards traditional values, with a growing admiration for roles such as 'trad wives,' reflecting a desire for stability and familial structure. Influencers like Ballerina Farm exemplify a growing movement that celebrates motherhood and family life, countering the previous glorification of casual relationships and independence. However, Perry critiques the romanticized portrayal of these lifestyles, suggesting they often overlook the communal and social structures essential for raising families successfully. She believes that as societies navigate modernity, there will be a resurgence of traditional structures that can accommodate familial and communal living, ultimately leading to healthier dynamics amongst men, women, and families.
Running The Free Press is Bari’s hobby, but her true passion is being a yenta. And one thing Bari has learned from talking to young singles is that there is a total breakdown of sexual relations these days between men and women.
This Valentine’s Day, Louise is here to explain how we went wrong as a society on dating, sex, porn, and marriage; how it is impacting women and men differently; how and if we can get back on track; how to date effectively in 2025; and how a revival of Christian sex ethics might be the answer.
If you liked what you heard from Honestly, the best way to support us is to go to TheFP.com and become a Free Press subscriber today.
Header 6:The Free Press earns a commission from any purchases made through all book links in this article.
