The idea that finding the right person will solve all your problems dies hard in the minds of traumatized people. If you were abused or neglected as a child, it can be difficult in adulthood to resist the lure of a relationship – any relationship – as a solution to the feeling that you’re unlovable, alone and lost about what kind of a life you want. This vagueness is like a barn door that’s left open. And what gets IN is other people's agenda. How can you get your life back, and know what you want? In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who needs to get her life back, and get clear on what she wants.

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