Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel Esther Calling - Are We Just Not Sexually Compatible? Part Two
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Jan 20, 2025 
A young Black American woman shares her experiences with sexual intimacy and trauma alongside her partner. They explore the challenges that arise when one partner initiates but the other freezes. The conversation navigates the intricacies of sexual compatibility, emphasizing the need for emotional connection and open communication. They discuss how trauma impacts their relationship dynamics and the importance of non-sexual touch. Practical strategies, like keeping a shared notebook for thoughts, are introduced to enhance connection and intimacy.
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Shifting Intimacy Dynamics
- The boyfriend found intimacy navigation more challenging in this relationship compared to past casual ones.
- Initially, they seemed on the same page, but something changed along the way.
Foreplay as a Continuous Process
- Foreplay starts at the end of the previous orgasm, not minutes before the "real thing".
- Cultivate desire and connection outside of designated intimate moments, like cooking a meal.
Communicating Non-Demand
- Clearly communicate intentions during intimate moments, stating explicitly that there's no demand for sex.
- Focus on non-genital touch, emphasizing playfulness and trust-building.