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The podcast highlights the best moments and insights from Startup Dad guests in 2023. Topics include parenting mistakes, successes, challenges, frameworks for success, advocacy for kids with special needs, coping with loss, and dads' optimism for 2024.
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Quick takeaways
- Reflecting on parenting mistakes and learning curves
- Navigating through health challenges with resilience and advocacy
- Importance of establishing clear parenting frameworks and values
- Embracing cultural heritage and diversity in children's upbringing
- Equitable distribution of household responsibilities for effective parenting
- Coping with loss and trauma through community support and communication
Deep dives
Navigating Parenthood Challenges and Goals for 2024
The podcast episode delves into a review of the year by exploring various conversations about parenting with Startup Dads and Moms, sharing highlights and reflections on mistakes, successes, frustrations, and frameworks. The host compiles the best moments and insights from over two dozen conversations in 2023. In addition, the episode features discussions about hopes and excitement for the upcoming year, notably focusing on the importance of emotional resilience and adaptability in parenting.
Acknowledging Parental Mistakes and Learning Opportunities
The episode highlights the candid discussions around common parenting mistakes made by Startup Dads, emphasizing the challenges of assuming children's maturity levels and the need for emotional resilience. Speakers share personal experiences of losing temper unnecessarily, acknowledging past struggles, and reflecting on the transition to fatherhood. The narrative underscores the importance of self-awareness and the learning curve in becoming a better parent over time.
Parenting Milestones and Reflections on Parental Growth
The podcast episode delves into significant milestones in parenting journeys, including struggles with balancing work and family life, understanding children's unique traits and challenges, and overcoming personal obstacles. Parents share insights on navigating through difficult medical diagnoses, such as autism, cancer, and fertility challenges, and reflect on the emotional, mental, and relational growth experienced throughout their parenthood.
Challenges Faced with Online Criticism
Facing online criticism and negative comments can be overwhelming, especially when they misrepresent one's intentions. The speaker shares how his partner's support during such times was crucial, highlighting the importance of presenting a clear and complete picture to avoid misunderstandings. Additionally, dealing with excessive online hate can be emotionally taxing, emphasizing the need for thorough communication and transparency to prevent misinterpretations.
Parenting Frameworks and Mentorship
The podcast delves into the significance of having parenting frameworks and mentors to guide one through challenges. Sharing personal experiences, the speaker underscores the value of establishing clear parenting values and aligning as a couple on key goals. Moreover, seeking mentorship from individuals who exemplify effective parenting practices proves invaluable in navigating various parenting dilemmas and fostering positive family dynamics.
Child Health Challenges and Support
The episode discusses the speaker's journey through child health issues, including a rare diagnosis for one of their children. Highlighting the emotional and practical challenges of managing health conditions in children, the speaker emphasizes the importance of seeking medical expertise and support. By sharing personal experiences with diagnoses and treatments, the speaker sheds light on the resilience and advocacy required in parenting through health adversities.
Preschool Transitions and Cultural Heritage
The podcast explores the transitions children face in preschool settings and the impact of cultural heritage on their upbringing. The speaker reflects on the importance of preschool selection and effective communication with educators to support children's unique needs. Moreover, introducing children to their cultural roots and heritage shapes their identity and enriches their understanding of diversity and heritage.
Parenting Equality and Division of Responsibilities
Addressing the significance of equitable parenting roles, the episode delves into the concept of dividing household responsibilities efficiently. The speaker shares how assigning vertical ownership of tasks streamlines household management, allowing for faster decision-making and task allocation. By fostering open communication and defining clear responsibilities, couples can navigate shared parenting duties effectively and ensure a balanced distribution of tasks.
Navigating Child Health Challenges and Education
The podcast episode sheds light on the speaker's experiences with child health conditions and educational transitions. Delving into the complexities of obtaining diagnoses and adjusting to educational settings, the speaker emphasizes the emotional toll and adaptive strategies required in parenting. By sharing personal stories of perseverance and collaboration with healthcare and educational professionals, the episode underscores the resilience and advocacy necessary in navigating child health challenges and educational transitions.
Challenges of Parenting in California
Parenting in California presents unique challenges with regards to establishing legal parenthood, especially for same-sex couples using IVF and surrogacy. California offers a pre-birth order system, granting legal parentage before the child is born, providing clarity and security. However, this process can be lengthy and costly, involving out-of-pocket expenses for procedures like IVF. Additionally, insurance coverage for IVF is restricted, as it typically applies to the surrogate rather than the intended parents, creating financial challenges for many families.
Dealing with Loss and Processing Trauma
The podcast delves into the profound impact of experiencing loss, particularly related to pregnancy complications and stillbirth. The emotional toll of such events is highlighted, emphasizing the importance of finding support and joining communities of individuals who have gone through similar experiences. The discussion extends to coping mechanisms, including open communication about grief and setting boundaries for support from family and friends. Furthermore, the episode sheds light on the complexities of processing trauma, advocating for creating a safe space for sharing experiences and seeking professional help when needed.
Welcome to the last Startup Dad episode of 2023! It has been one hell of a year. Starting in June I released a show a week for the entire rest of the year; 27 episodes in total. Talking parenthood with dozens of startup dads and a few startup moms blew away all of my expectations. For this episode I pulled together the best of over two dozen conversations covering everything from mistakes made to frameworks for parenting success. At the end I asked many of my guests what they're most looking forward to in 2024.
This episode includes excerpts from nearly every one of my conversations from this past year.
Guests include:
Nick Soman, Buster Benson, George Arison, Guy Yalif, Jake Wood, Gaurav Vohra, Tobi Emonts-Holley, Ben Williams, Lloyed Lobo, Ryan Johnson, Mike Duboe, Sara and Eric Mauskopf, Trae and Michelle Stephens, Aaron Huey, Will Rocklin, Tom Willerer, Darius Contractor, Adam Grenier, Alex Cohen, Brian Balfour, Josh Herzig-Marx and Carla Naumburg, Casey Woo, Fareed Mosavat, and Matt Greenberg.
In this episode we discuss:
* Mistakes made as a Dad
* The successes and high points of parenting
* Frustrations and challenges with parenting
* Frameworks for success
* Advocacy and raising children with special needs
* Coping with loss
* Startup Dads' optimism for 2024
Listen, watch and subscribe: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and Overcast.
Where to find Adam Fishman
- Newsletter: FishmanAFNewsletter.com
- Newsletter: startupdadpod.substack.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/
- Twitter / X: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/
—
In this episode, we cover:
[0:00] Hello & intro from Adam
[01:15] Mistakes made as a parent
[01:22] Ryan Johnson (CPO, CallRail) - thinking your kids are older than they are
[02:41] Tobi Emonts-Holley (CEO, Tiphereth) - losing your temper, recovering and learning to let go
[04:20] Nick Soman (CEO/founder, Decent) - when I felt like I was drowning
[05:45] Mike Duboe (General Partner, Greylock) - being too hard on yourself
[07:12] Lloyed Lobo (Co-founder, Boast.ai) - yelling at your kids
[07:54] Jake Wood (Founder, Groundswell and Team Rubicon) - avoiding mistakes of the heart
[08:42] Guy Yalif (Co-founder/CEO, Intellimize) - quality minutes with your kids vs. quantity of hours
[09:29] Gaurav Vohra (Founding team, Superhuman) - taking advice from other parents; not getting a crib
[11:50] Buster Benson (Product leader, Medium) - thinking your kids are more mature than they are
[14:27] George Arison (CEO, Grindr) - not explaining why to kids
[14:46] Ben Williams (PLG Advisor, PLGeek) - thinking it would be easy
[15:15] Parenting successes
[15:24] Will Rocklin (Product Advisor) - marriage and parenthood unlocking your best self
[17:25] Tom Willerer (COO, Reforge) - watching your kids be successful
[21:51] Trae and Michelle Stephens (Partner, Founders Fund, Co-founder Anduril, Co-founder Oathcare) - watching kids learning new things and experiencing the world
[22:53] Eric and Sara Mauskopf (Product leader, Winnie; CEO/co-founder, Winnie) - rejoining the workforce and working with your spouse
[027:20] Guy Yalif - seeing your kids navigate transitions; college and high school
[28:06] Darius Contractor (CGO, Otter.ai) - helping your kids be centered and defining success with them
[28:59] George Arison - watching your kids learning
[29:28] Aaron Huey (Founder, National Geographic Photographer, 3rd Coolest Dad in America) - being named the 3rd coolest Dad in America
[31:07] Parenting frustrations and challenges
[31:19] Will Rocklin - conception struggles and a positive experience with IVF
[33:23] Alex Cohen (Product leader, Carbon Health) - not having family or a support network nearby
[34:25] Nick Soman - starting a company and becoming a husband and father at the same time
[35:13] Eric and Sara Mauskopf - navigating cancer; a dismembering experience; family planning with cancer
[42:28] Adam Grenier (VP Growth, Eventbrite) - having a child with special needs
[44:17] Buster Benson - navigating separation and divorce; talking to your kids about it; advice for others
[53:03] Tobi Emonts-Holley - getting intense feedback online and saying the wrong thing
[01:00:20] Best parenting frameworks
[01:00:30] Nick Soman - irrevocable guidelines
[01:00:59] Tobi Emonts-Holley - personal discipline equals freedom
[01:02:57] Mike Duboe - making time for date night
[01:04:04] Lloyed Lobo - positive discipline, rewarding the effort and trusting the process
[01:07:51] Jake Wood - making sure your kids know they're loved
[01:08:30] Guy Yalif - making sure your kids know they're loved and you only control how you show up
[01:09:29] Adam Grenier - tools from Brene Brown and understanding your couple capacity
[01:10:37] Gaurav Vohra - Delete, automate, delegate
[01:13:14] Casey Woo - the importance of routine
[01:13:50] Josh Herzig-Marx and Carla Naumburg (Product advisor, best-selling author) - prioritization and tradeoffs using mission and vision
[01:19:04] Buster Benson - creating a safe space and not trying to diagnose your kids
[01:21:37] Adam Grenier - special time with each kid
[01:22:50] Gaurav Vohra - full vertical responsibility management
[01:28:41] Brian Balfour (CEO/founder, Reforge) - defining your parenting values
[01:30:15] Ben Williams - making 1-on-1 time
[01:31:37] Alex Cohen - giving zero f***s and going with the flow
[01:32:15] Fareed Mosavat (Advisor) - remembering that you're the adult
[01:33:06] Advocating for your kids
[01:33:17] Ryan Johnson - getting difficult medical diagnoses and navigating that process
[01:36:07] Matt Greenberg (CTO, Handshake) - the process of diagnosing and advocating for your autistic child in the school system
[01:41:29] Adam Grenier - the tools for helping and advocating for your autistic child with caregivers
[1:46:01] Ben Williams - helping your child understand racism
[1:47:14] George Arison - navigating the surrogacy process as a gay man
[1:54:41] Matt Greenberg - more about advocating for your autistic child
[1:59:51] Startup dads & moms discuss loss
[2:00:02] Trae & Michelle Stephens - navigating miscarriage and advice for others
[2:02:24] Brian Balfour - coping with the loss of a child at birth
[2:08:06] Lloyd Lobo - navigating the loss of a twin
[2:13:21] What are Startup Dads looking forward to in 2024?
[2:13:29] Matt Greenberg - looking forward to his four year old turning five
[2:13:47] Lloyd Lobo - my wife's 40th birthday
[2:14:13] Alex Cohen - side projects turning into real things
[2:14:48] George Arison - excited about building culture together and the transition to kindergarten
[2:15:58] Gaurav Vohra - traveling to exciting places as a family
[2:17:06] Ben Williams - taking a family holiday... somewhere warm
[2:18:05] Trae & Michelle Stephens - having an escape from the city, celebrating milestone birthdays, and rest
[2:19:13] Tobi Emonts-Holley - watching his kids pursue their sports and passions; connecting with more dads
[2:20:19] Ryan Johnson - the technology landscape settling and what will happen with AI
[2:21:36] Will Rocklin - a baby who sleeps
[2:22:39] Thank you
—
Show references:
IVF - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/in-vitro-fertilization/about/pac-20384716
RMA - https://rmanetwork.com/
Harville Hendrix - https://harvilleandhelen.com/
Fatherly - https://www.fatherly.com/entertainment/100-coolest-dads-in-america-2018
National Geographic - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/
UCSF Fertility Clinic - https://crh.ucsf.edu/
Jocko Willink - https://jocko.com/
The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy of Leadership by Bill Walsh, Steve Jamison & Craig Walsh - https://www.amazon.com/Score-Takes-Care-Itself-Philosophy/dp/1591843472
Brene Brown - https://brenebrown.com/
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky - https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Game-Changing-Solution-When/dp/0525541934
The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman PHD - https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718
Brickies - https://brickies.club/
CCRM Fertility - https://www.ccrmivf.com/
HAND of Bay Area - https://handsupport.org/
—
Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/
Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com
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