Welcome to the last Startup Dad episode of 2023! It has been one hell of a year. Starting in June I released a show a week for the entire rest of the year; 27 episodes in total. Talking parenthood with dozens of startup dads and a few startup moms blew away all of my expectations. For this episode I pulled together the best of over two dozen conversations covering everything from mistakes made to frameworks for parenting success. At the end I asked many of my guests what they're most looking forward to in 2024.

This episode includes excerpts from nearly every one of my conversations from this past year.

Guests include:

Nick Soman, Buster Benson, George Arison, Guy Yalif, Jake Wood, Gaurav Vohra, Tobi Emonts-Holley, Ben Williams, Lloyed Lobo, Ryan Johnson, Mike Duboe, Sara and Eric Mauskopf, Trae and Michelle Stephens, Aaron Huey, Will Rocklin, Tom Willerer, Darius Contractor, Adam Grenier, Alex Cohen, Brian Balfour, Josh Herzig-Marx and Carla Naumburg, Casey Woo, Fareed Mosavat, and Matt Greenberg.

In this episode we discuss:

* Mistakes made as a Dad

* The successes and high points of parenting

* Frustrations and challenges with parenting

* Frameworks for success

* Advocacy and raising children with special needs

* Coping with loss

* Startup Dads' optimism for 2024

Listen, watch and subscribe: Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and Overcast.

Where to find Adam Fishman

- Newsletter: FishmanAFNewsletter.com

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- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adamjfishman/

- Twitter / X: https://twitter.com/fishmanaf

- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startupdadpod/

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In this episode, we cover:

[0:00] Hello & intro from Adam

[01:15] Mistakes made as a parent

[01:22] Ryan Johnson (CPO, CallRail) - thinking your kids are older than they are

[02:41] Tobi Emonts-Holley (CEO, Tiphereth) - losing your temper, recovering and learning to let go

[04:20] Nick Soman (CEO/founder, Decent) - when I felt like I was drowning

[05:45] Mike Duboe (General Partner, Greylock) - being too hard on yourself

[07:12] Lloyed Lobo (Co-founder, Boast.ai) - yelling at your kids

[07:54] Jake Wood (Founder, Groundswell and Team Rubicon) - avoiding mistakes of the heart

[08:42] Guy Yalif (Co-founder/CEO, Intellimize) - quality minutes with your kids vs. quantity of hours

[09:29] Gaurav Vohra (Founding team, Superhuman) - taking advice from other parents; not getting a crib

[11:50] Buster Benson (Product leader, Medium) - thinking your kids are more mature than they are

[14:27] George Arison (CEO, Grindr) - not explaining why to kids

[14:46] Ben Williams (PLG Advisor, PLGeek) - thinking it would be easy

[15:15] Parenting successes

[15:24] Will Rocklin (Product Advisor) - marriage and parenthood unlocking your best self

[17:25] Tom Willerer (COO, Reforge) - watching your kids be successful

[21:51] Trae and Michelle Stephens (Partner, Founders Fund, Co-founder Anduril, Co-founder Oathcare) - watching kids learning new things and experiencing the world

[22:53] Eric and Sara Mauskopf  (Product leader, Winnie; CEO/co-founder, Winnie) - rejoining the workforce and working with your spouse

[027:20] Guy Yalif - seeing your kids navigate transitions; college and high school

[28:06] Darius Contractor (CGO, Otter.ai) - helping your kids be centered and defining success with them

[28:59] George Arison - watching your kids learning

[29:28] Aaron Huey (Founder, National Geographic Photographer, 3rd Coolest Dad in America) - being named the 3rd coolest Dad in America

[31:07] Parenting frustrations and challenges

[31:19] Will Rocklin - conception struggles and a positive experience with IVF

[33:23] Alex Cohen (Product leader, Carbon Health) - not having family or a support network nearby

[34:25] Nick Soman - starting a company and becoming a husband and father at the same time

[35:13] Eric and Sara Mauskopf - navigating cancer; a dismembering experience; family planning with cancer

[42:28] Adam Grenier (VP Growth, Eventbrite) - having a child with special needs

[44:17] Buster Benson - navigating separation and divorce; talking to your kids about it; advice for others

[53:03] Tobi Emonts-Holley - getting intense feedback online and saying the wrong thing

[01:00:20] Best parenting frameworks

[01:00:30] Nick Soman - irrevocable guidelines

[01:00:59] Tobi Emonts-Holley - personal discipline equals freedom

[01:02:57] Mike Duboe - making time for date night

[01:04:04] Lloyed Lobo - positive discipline, rewarding the effort and trusting the process

[01:07:51] Jake Wood - making sure your kids know they're loved

[01:08:30] Guy Yalif - making sure your kids know they're loved and you only control how you show up

[01:09:29] Adam Grenier - tools from Brene Brown and understanding your couple capacity

[01:10:37] Gaurav Vohra - Delete, automate, delegate

[01:13:14] Casey Woo - the importance of routine

[01:13:50] Josh Herzig-Marx and Carla Naumburg (Product advisor, best-selling author) - prioritization and tradeoffs using mission and vision

[01:19:04] Buster Benson - creating a safe space and not trying to diagnose your kids

[01:21:37] Adam Grenier - special time with each kid

[01:22:50] Gaurav Vohra - full vertical responsibility management

[01:28:41] Brian Balfour (CEO/founder, Reforge) - defining your parenting values

[01:30:15] Ben Williams - making 1-on-1 time

[01:31:37] Alex Cohen - giving zero f***s and going with the flow

[01:32:15] Fareed Mosavat (Advisor) - remembering that you're the adult

[01:33:06] Advocating for your kids

[01:33:17] Ryan Johnson - getting difficult medical diagnoses and navigating that process

[01:36:07] Matt Greenberg (CTO, Handshake) - the process of diagnosing and advocating for your autistic child in the school system

[01:41:29] Adam Grenier - the tools for helping and advocating for your autistic child with caregivers

[1:46:01] Ben Williams - helping your child understand racism

[1:47:14] George Arison - navigating the surrogacy process as a gay man

[1:54:41] Matt Greenberg - more about advocating for your autistic child

[1:59:51] Startup dads & moms discuss loss

[2:00:02] Trae & Michelle Stephens - navigating miscarriage and advice for others 

[2:02:24] Brian Balfour - coping with the loss of a child at birth

[2:08:06] Lloyd Lobo - navigating the loss of a twin

[2:13:21] What are Startup Dads looking forward to in 2024?

[2:13:29] Matt Greenberg - looking forward to his four year old turning five

[2:13:47] Lloyd Lobo - my wife's 40th birthday

[2:14:13] Alex Cohen - side projects turning into real things

[2:14:48] George Arison - excited about building culture together and the transition to kindergarten

[2:15:58] Gaurav Vohra - traveling to exciting places as a family

[2:17:06] Ben Williams - taking a family holiday... somewhere warm

[2:18:05] Trae & Michelle Stephens - having an escape from the city, celebrating milestone birthdays, and rest

[2:19:13] Tobi Emonts-Holley - watching his kids pursue their sports and passions; connecting with more dads

[2:20:19] Ryan Johnson - the technology landscape settling and what will happen with AI

[2:21:36] Will Rocklin - a baby who sleeps

[2:22:39] Thank you

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Show references:

IVF - https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/in-vitro-fertilization/about/pac-20384716

RMA - https://rmanetwork.com/

Harville Hendrix - https://harvilleandhelen.com/

Fatherly - https://www.fatherly.com/entertainment/100-coolest-dads-in-america-2018

National Geographic - https://www.nationalgeographic.com/

UCSF Fertility Clinic - https://crh.ucsf.edu/

Jocko Willink - https://jocko.com/

The Score Takes Care of Itself: My Philosophy of Leadership by Bill Walsh, Steve Jamison & Craig Walsh - https://www.amazon.com/Score-Takes-Care-Itself-Philosophy/dp/1591843472

Brene Brown - https://brenebrown.com/

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky - https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Game-Changing-Solution-When/dp/0525541934

The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman PHD - https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0553447718

Brickies - https://brickies.club/

CCRM Fertility - https://www.ccrmivf.com/

HAND of Bay Area - https://handsupport.org/

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Production support for Startup Dad is provided by Tommy Harron at http://www.armaziproductions.com/

Episode art designed by Matt Sutherland at https://www.mspnw.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit startupdadpod.substack.com