Parenting challenges like handling children's intense emotions, aggressive behaviors, and tantrums are discussed. Strategies for staying composed, validating emotions, and setting boundaries are shared to help parents navigate these stormy situations
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Quick takeaways
View emotional outbursts as natural occurrences that will pass, providing a steadying presence for the child.
Encourage children to express difficult emotions through imaginative play to foster open communication and understanding.
Deep dives
Understanding and Navigating Children's Storm of Emotions
Children's intense emotional outbursts, such as tantrums or mood swings, can be challenging for parents to manage. By viewing these emotional storms like natural occurrences that will pass, parents can provide a steadying presence. Encouraging children to express their feelings without judgment or pressure to 'fix' them can help both the child and the parent navigate through the storm together. Acknowledging a child's emotions while maintaining emotional separation can lead to a healthier, more supportive parent-child dynamic.
Processing Negative Behaviors Through Imaginative Play
Children's aggressive behaviors, like biting or hitting, can often stem from underlying emotions or struggles, such as adjusting to a new sibling or feeling overwhelmed. Encouraging the child to engage in imaginative play and storytelling can help them process difficult emotions without acting out physically. Providing a safe and accepting environment for the child to express themselves can foster open communication and a deeper understanding of their feelings.
Parental Response to Aggressive Behaviors
When a child exhibits aggressive behaviors, like spitting or hitting, at school, parents should approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Instead of focusing on reprimanding or forcing apologies, parents can engage in open dialogue with the child to explore the underlying reasons behind their actions. By fostering a supportive and non-judgmental environment, parents can help the child feel safe and understood while addressing and guiding them to manage their behaviors positively.
Our child’s uncomfortable feelings can manifest in many ways, the most obvious being tantrums, meltdowns, or long lasting monsoonal crying jags. Often, those feelings are expressed in behaviors, sometimes aggressive. The two emails Janet addresses in this episode come from parents whose kids’ rocky moods and behaviors are persistent, no matter how much patience, love, and affection are offered. One parent writes: “Sometimes his feelings are too much for us. It's hard when the entire day is ruined because you said no to a cookie at 7:00 AM.” Another mom says her 4-year-old has started spitting, biting, and hitting in pre-school. He’s recently acquired a baby brother, which explains a lot, but she says, “it would be easier if he was screaming and crying and having a meltdown. I can handle that, but when it comes out in a way that hurts others, I struggle.” Janet has several suggestions for these parents both in the way they are responding to their kids and in their perceptions of their respective storms.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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