Kosher Money

A Jewish Divorce Mediator Shares What She Sees Behind Closed Doors

Dec 24, 2025
Sarah Nissel, an attorney and law professor, leads the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center of Los Angeles, bringing a wealth of experience in mediating divorces. She discusses the taboo of money in marriage, highlighting how financial conflicts often mask deeper issues. Sarah advocates for proactive financial education and honest money conversations before and during marriage. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, communication, and community resources, transforming the chuppah from a finish line into a starting point for a thriving partnership.
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INSIGHT

Money Is A Proxy In Marital Conflict

  • Money rarely causes divorce directly; it often exposes deeper personality and communication issues.
  • Sarah Nissel says money serves as a proxy for control, risk appetite, and other marital dynamics.
ADVICE

Teach Money Skills Early

  • Teach financial literacy early: every high school and premarital class should include money and conflict-resolution lessons.
  • Sarah Nissel urges communities and parents to normalize talking about finances before marriage.
ADVICE

Don't Resolve Conflicts While Hot

  • When conflict arises, pause and resume the conversation when calm rather than resolving issues while heated.
  • Take breaks, write down grievances, and accept some things will not change about the other person.
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