Money as a Proxy for Personality

We explore one of the most sensitive and least discussed topics in Jewish life: money and marriage.

• Why do so many couples avoid talking about money?

• What do fights about money really represent?

• How can couples build financial trust and literacy before and during marriage?

• What role should community education play in preparing young people for real-world financial responsibility?

To unpack all this, we sat down with Sarah Nissel, an attorney, law professor at Pepperdine, and Executive Director of the Jewish Divorce Assistance Center of Los Angeles.

After mediating over 300 divorces, Sarah has learned what truly makes (and breaks) relationships when it comes to money + how self-awareness, communication, and education can prevent heartbreak.

She shares candid lessons from the front lines: how to talk about money without shame, how to manage conflict constructively, and why the chuppah isn’t the finish line, it’s the starting line.

It’s a powerful, eye-opening conversation about emotional intelligence, financial transparency, and Torah values in Jewish relationships — not just how to avoid divorce, but how to build marriages that actually thrive.

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• Learn more about Sarah’s organization: https://www.jdacla.org/

• One of Sarah's favorite books, The Anxious Generation: https://amzn.to/4qnGOvN

CHAPTERS00:00 Intro01:53 Who Is Sarah Nissel?02:27 Practicing Law in Los Angeles04:10 A Decade of Experience in Family Law04:24 What Lawyers See Behind Closed Doors05:18 The Lack of Financial Education05:56 When Someone First Goes to a Divorce Lawyer07:23 Men vs. Women Divorce Misconceptions07:42 Tips for a Healthier Marriage11:45 Advice for Newlyweds12:56 Improving Conflict Resolution Skills18:28 How Frum Couples Manage Money21:07 Why Wives Should Know the Finances24:20 Twillory25:33 The Donors Fund27:52 Modeling Healthy Money Habits29:34 Being Honest About Debt With Your Spouse31:32 Understanding Your Appetite for Risk34:33 How to Guide an Amicable Divorce37:24 Prenups in the Orthodox Community40:00 What Sarah Wants Her Children to Know About Prenups41:35 When Parents Stop Financial Support44:14 Separate Bank Accounts48:35 Setting Up Newlyweds for Financial Success51:05 BitBean51:53 Colel Chabad52:43 It Is Never Too Late55:58 Starting Financial Education Earlier in Schools59:03 Moving Forward Toward Peace1:02:39 Amazing Jewish Resources1:05:52 How Sarah Helps People1:06:23 You Do Not Need to Recreate the Wheel1:08:01 Why Sarah Stays Away From AI1:09:26 Sarah’s Nonprofit Work1:09:52 Sarah’s Book Recommendations1:12:36 The Advantages of the Jewish Community1:14:04 Sarah’s Remarkable Yichus1:19:26 Thanking Sarah for Joining Us1:19:49 Outro

✬ Helpful Efforts Out in the World ✬

• Living Smarter Jewish brings free financial coaching to families: https://livingsmarterjewish.org/

• Kosher Debt Help – Honest, agenda-free help if you're in debt: https://www.kosherdebthelp.com/

• Kosher ADHD – Practical guidance for families living with ADHD: https://kosher-adhd.com/

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