Flourish FM Episode #45: What can existential psychotherapy do for your ability to flourish?, with Dr. Sara Kuburic
We interview Dr. Sara Kuburic, existential psychotherapist, writer, and columnist for USA Today, about how existential psychotherapy can help us to flourish.
In particular, we discuss Sara’s work on “self-loss”: what it is, how to identify it and rebuild our sense of self; how overcoming self-loss can help us flourish; and how to live a more authentic and meaningful life.
Sara is the author of It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Penguin Random House, 2023). The book is a guide to identifying self-loss – one of our greatest unspoken human sufferings, that feeling of being estranged or disconnected from your true self – so we can stop feeling the pain and emptiness that comes from performing or observing life, rather than living it.
Sarah was born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada, and completed her doctorate in psychotherapy science in Vienna, under the supervision of Dr. Alfried Längle, the founder of existential analysis. She is a trauma-informed clinician with a person-centered approach that is grounded in existential analysis, as well as somatic and experiential techniques. She specializes in moral trauma, identity, existential crisis, and relationship issues.
Sara is passionate about helping people seek change and live authentic, free, and meaningful lives. Her interest in psychology stems from her personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human.
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Dr. Sara Kuburic:
It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Penguin Random House, 2023)
Timestamps:
00:00:05 - Introduction to Dr. Sarah Kuburic
00:00:26 - Understanding Self-Loss
00:00:37 - Sara's Approach to Psychotherapy
00:01:05 - The Existential Lens on Flourishing
00:02:02 - Defining Existential Psychotherapy
00:03:04 - Core Concepts in Existential Psychotherapy
00:03:38 - Empowering Clients to Face Truths
00:04:08 - Sara’s Specialisms: Moral Trauma and Identity
00:04:42 - Insights from Existential Psychotherapy Practice
00:05:05 - Study on Moral Injury in Infidelity
00:06:20 - Understanding our Sense of Self
00:07:09 - The Ingredients of our Sense of Self
00:08:33 - Constructing vs. Finding the Self
00:09:34 - Self-Loss and the Journey to Self-Discovery
00:10:19 - The Process of Creating the Self
00:11:42 - The Role of Community in Self-Formation
00:12:17 - Trauma and Its Impact on the Self
00:13:33 - The Importance of Facing Ourselves
00:14:15 - The Role of Responsibility in Flourishing
00:16:09 - The Complexity of Human Psychology and Trauma
00:17:33 - The Connection Between Trauma and Self-Loss
00:18:32 - The Role of Flourishing in Existential Psychotherapy
00:19:32 - The Complexity of Moral Trauma and Infidelity
00:20:37 - The Relationship Between Flourishing and Suffering
00:21:07 - The Importance of Community and Humor in Well-Being
00:22:21 - Psychological Flexibility and Inner Safety
00:23:27 - The Role of Responsibility in a Good Life
00:25:06 - Building Inner Safety and Trust in Oneself
00:26:08 - The Empowering Message of Responsibility
00:27:16 - The Role of Reflection in Building Well-Being
00:28:46 - Practical Tips for Self-Discovery and Well-Being
00:30:14 - The Role of Community in Authentic Living
00:31:24 - Using Humor and Reflection for Self-Understanding
00:32:20 - The Runaway Bride Analogy for Self-Discovery
00:33:11 - The Importance of Continual Self-Exploration
00:34:03 - Disconnection from Self: Emotions, Body, and Mind
00:35:17 - Cultural Observations on Flourishing and Self
00:36:07 - The Role of Community and Confidence in Self-Formation
00:37:04 - Finding Meaning in Suffering for Fulfillment
00:38:58 - Psychological Richness and Flexibility
00:39:55 - WEIRD Populations in Psychological Research
00:40:05 - Building Psychological Agility and Inner Safety
00:41:09 - The Relationship with Oneself and Inner Safety
00:42:12 - The Impact of Meaning and Happiness on Well-Being
00:43:45 - The Importance of Emotional and Psychological Flexibility
00:44:59 - Inner Safety and Standing Behind Oneself
00:45:44 - Journaling for Self-Reflection and Well-Being
00:47:55 - The Role of Community and Humor in a Good Life
00:49:28 - Final Thoughts on Self-Reflection and Well-Being
00:50:36 - Where to Find Sara’s Book