We interview Dr. Sara Kuburic, existential psychotherapist, writer, and columnist for USA Today, about how existential psychotherapy can help us to flourish.

In particular, we discuss Sara’s work on “self-loss”: what it is, how to identify it and rebuild our sense of self; how overcoming self-loss can help us flourish; and how to live a more authentic and meaningful life.

Sara is the author of It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Penguin Random House, 2023). The book is a guide to identifying self-loss – one of our greatest unspoken human sufferings, that feeling of being estranged or disconnected from your true self – so we can stop feeling the pain and emptiness that comes from performing or observing life, rather than living it.

Sarah was born in Yugoslavia and raised in Canada, and completed her doctorate in psychotherapy science in Vienna, under the supervision of Dr. Alfried Längle, the founder of existential analysis. She is a trauma-informed clinician with a person-centered approach that is grounded in existential analysis, as well as somatic and experiential techniques. She specializes in moral trauma, identity, existential crisis, and relationship issues.

 

Sara is passionate about helping people seek change and live authentic, free, and meaningful lives. Her interest in psychology stems from her personal experience living through wars, navigating complex relationships, and continually learning what it means to be human.

 

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It’s On Me: Accept Hard Truths, Discover Your Self, and Change Your Life (Penguin Random House, 2023)

 

Timestamps:

00:00:05 - Introduction to Dr. Sarah Kuburic

00:00:26 - Understanding Self-Loss

00:00:37 - Sara's Approach to Psychotherapy

00:01:05 - The Existential Lens on Flourishing

00:02:02 - Defining Existential Psychotherapy

00:03:04 - Core Concepts in Existential Psychotherapy

00:03:38 - Empowering Clients to Face Truths

00:04:08 - Sara’s Specialisms: Moral Trauma and Identity

00:04:42 - Insights from Existential Psychotherapy Practice

00:05:05 - Study on Moral Injury in Infidelity

00:06:20 - Understanding our Sense of Self

00:07:09 - The Ingredients of our Sense of Self

00:08:33 - Constructing vs. Finding the Self

00:09:34 - Self-Loss and the Journey to Self-Discovery

00:10:19 - The Process of Creating the Self

00:11:42 - The Role of Community in Self-Formation

00:12:17 - Trauma and Its Impact on the Self

00:13:33 - The Importance of Facing Ourselves

00:14:15 - The Role of Responsibility in Flourishing

00:16:09 - The Complexity of Human Psychology and Trauma

00:17:33 - The Connection Between Trauma and Self-Loss

00:18:32 - The Role of Flourishing in Existential Psychotherapy

00:19:32 - The Complexity of Moral Trauma and Infidelity

00:20:37 - The Relationship Between Flourishing and Suffering

00:21:07 - The Importance of Community and Humor in Well-Being

00:22:21 - Psychological Flexibility and Inner Safety

00:23:27 - The Role of Responsibility in a Good Life

00:25:06 - Building Inner Safety and Trust in Oneself

00:26:08 - The Empowering Message of Responsibility

00:27:16 - The Role of Reflection in Building Well-Being

00:28:46 - Practical Tips for Self-Discovery and Well-Being

00:30:14 - The Role of Community in Authentic Living

00:31:24 - Using Humor and Reflection for Self-Understanding

00:32:20 - The Runaway Bride Analogy for Self-Discovery

00:33:11 - The Importance of Continual Self-Exploration

00:34:03 - Disconnection from Self: Emotions, Body, and Mind

00:35:17 - Cultural Observations on Flourishing and Self

00:36:07 - The Role of Community and Confidence in Self-Formation

00:37:04 - Finding Meaning in Suffering for Fulfillment

00:38:58 - Psychological Richness and Flexibility

00:39:55 - WEIRD Populations in Psychological Research

00:40:05 - Building Psychological Agility and Inner Safety

00:41:09 - The Relationship with Oneself and Inner Safety

00:42:12 - The Impact of Meaning and Happiness on Well-Being

00:43:45 - The Importance of Emotional and Psychological Flexibility

00:44:59 - Inner Safety and Standing Behind Oneself

00:45:44 - Journaling for Self-Reflection and Well-Being

00:47:55 - The Role of Community and Humor in a Good Life

00:49:28 - Final Thoughts on Self-Reflection and Well-Being

00:50:36 - Where to Find Sara’s Book