Gradually exposing oneself to the presence of a partner during solo activities can help overcome difficulties in orgasming with a partner.
Practicing relaxation techniques and embracing the sensations without worry or shame can lead to a more pleasurable orgasmic experience.
Deep dives
Overcoming Difficulty in Orgasming with a Partner
One of the most common difficulties people face in orgasming with a partner is addressed in this episode. It is known as secondary anorgasmia, where individuals have orgasms under some circumstances but not others. The solution lies in gradually exposing oneself to the presence of a partner during solo activities. This can involve using graded exposure techniques, starting with a photo of the partner visible during masturbation and gradually increasing the level of exposure. By training the brain to associate the partner's presence with pleasure, the breaks in the dual control mechanism can be gradually eased, allowing for orgasm even with a partner in the room.
Understanding the Sensation of Needing to Pee During Orgasm
The sensation of needing to pee during orgasm, particularly in relation to clitoral stimulation, is explored in this episode. This sensation arises due to the proximity of the urethra to the clitoral structures that are engorged during arousal. The brain, associating these sensations with the need to urinate, misinterprets the signals. Over time, with practice and relaxation techniques, the brain can learn to differentiate between the sensation of needing to pee and the specific sensations related to orgasm. Embracing the sensations without worry or shame can lead to a more pleasurable orgasmic experience.
The Brain's Role in Orgasm and Overcoming Misconceptions
The podcast delves into the brain's role in orgasm and aims to debunk misconceptions that exist around this topic. It emphasizes that orgasm is a brain process, not solely reliant on genital stimulation. The accelerator and brakes in the dual control mechanism regulate sexual response. By turning off the brakes, turning on the accelerator, and surrendering to sensation, individuals can enhance their orgasmic experiences. The episode also highlights the importance of debunking cultural and societal factors, such as body image issues and shame surrounding bodily functions, to fully embrace and enjoy orgasm.
The Power of Mindfulness and Letting Go for Orgasmic Pleasure
The podcast emphasizes the power of mindfulness and letting go for experiencing orgasmic pleasure. Surrendering to sensations, letting go of worries and judgments, and focusing on the present moment can enhance the orgasmic experience. The episode encourages individuals to explore their own bodies and sensations without feeling rushed or pressured. By embracing pleasure and removing expectations, individuals can create a more fulfilling and pleasurable sexual experience.
Emily answers calls from listeners who are struggling with their orgasms, and debunks several myths about where orgasm happens in the body. She also explains how we can train our brains to change our experience of orgasm with some practice… and a little dismantling of the patriarchy.
If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557 or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be answered on the show.
