Poppy Sowerby, a keen observer of modern relationships, joins writers Freya India, known for her insights on love, and Sheehan Quirke of The Cultural Tutor fame. Together, they unravel the complexities of romance in 2025, discussing the impact of dating apps on emotional connections. They explore the tension between convenience and authenticity, challenge stereotypes of male romance discussions, and advocate for reclaiming vulnerability in love. Amidst societal pressures, they inspire hope for a re-enchantment of romance in a digital age.
The decline of traditional romance is evident as fewer young adults are marrying, reflecting a deep societal shift in intimacy.
Dating apps commodify romantic interactions, transforming genuine connections into marketing exercises, leading to angst and superficiality.
Parental attitudes towards relationships discourage commitment, perpetuating a culture of uncertainty that undermines meaningful, stable romantic connections.
Deep dives
The State of Modern Romance
The discussion begins with an exploration of the decline of traditional romance, highlighting that fewer young adults are getting married and birth rates are dropping significantly. There is concern about an ongoing 'war on romance,' with dating apps creating a landscape filled with choice but leading to anxiety and disconnection. This societal shift is reflected in cultural products, such as films, with the percentage of romantic films significantly decreasing from nearly 35% in 2000 to 8% today. The speakers argue that this trend points to a deeper change in how intimacy and relationships are perceived and pursued in contemporary society.
Dating Apps and the Paradox of Choice
The impact of dating apps on modern relationships is discussed, illustrating how the overwhelming choice can lead to a commodified view of people, reducing them to products to be evaluated and discarded. Young people are increasingly viewing dating as a marketing exercise, where success depends on self-promotion rather than genuine connections. One guest emphasizes that this mentality warps empathy and interpersonal relationships, leading to a situation where meaningful romantic engagement is often sacrificed for quick interactions. The tragedy lies in the fact that genuine romantic moments, which would usually arise from real-life encounters, have become infrequent due to the efficiency-driven nature of app-based dating.
The Complexity of Romantic Expectations
The conversation points to the way modern romance has become intertwined with societal expectations and risks. Many individuals feel pressured to maintain a laid-back attitude towards relationships, stifling their desires for deeper intimacy for fear of being perceived as needy or ‘uncool.’ Guest speakers note that this leads to an ironic detachment from genuine emotions, as conversations become laden with terms and parameters influenced by therapy culture. As a result, the authenticity of romantic interaction is diluted, leaving many feeling stuck in situationships with unclear boundaries.
Navigating Parental Influence and Rising Standards
Parental influence on romantic choices is highlighted, with parents often encouraging their children to remain open rather than commit to traditional relationships. This stems from a fear of mistakes borne from their own experiences of divorce and relationship breakdown. The notion that keeping options open is ultimately more beneficial creates a culture of uncertainty among the youth. There is a call to reconsider this perspective, emphasizing that commitment can also lead to fulfillment and stability, rather than despair.
Romance Beyond Convenience
The current culture is critiqued for prioritizing convenience over the nuances of romantic relationships, with quick and easy dating solutions seemingly at odds with the emotional richness that real romance demands. The discussion emphasizes the importance of spontaneity, vulnerability, and genuine interaction in fostering connections beyond superficial encounters. The speakers argue that while technology can facilitate introductions, it does not replace the deeply personal experiences that characterize true romantic engagement. Ultimately, they suggest that reclaiming the elements of chance and emotional risk in relationships is vital for fostering lasting love.
Between incel culture, tradwifery, polyamory and online dating, what hope is there for modern romance? For a Saint Valentine’s Day special join writers Poppy Sowerby, Freya India and Sheehan Quirke aka The Cultural Tutor to debate the state of sex and love in 2025.