Crying children can feel like a stab to the heart, but it's a natural part of parenting. The discussion emphasizes that tears should not be seen as accusations against dads but as moments needing understanding. It's vital for fathers to listen without jumping to solve problems or offering lectures. This approach not only aids in parenting but can also enhance relationships with partners. Embracing emotions is key to navigating the challenges of family life.
02:15
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Listen to Your Children's Feelings
Listen to your children's feelings without judgment or attempting to fix them.
Simply be present and understanding, offering support instead of lectures or dismissals.
insights INSIGHT
Tears are Facts, Not Indictments
Crying is a natural response to distress, especially in children.
Parents should view tears as facts, not accusations or problems to be solved.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Provide Support, Not Solutions
Children need their parents' understanding and presence during emotional times.
Avoid lecturing, minimizing, or blaming; offer support and empathy instead.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
One of the things you have trouble adjusting to when you first have kids is the crying. Not just because it’s loud, but because it feels like you’re being stabbed in the heart. We are not meant, evolutionarily, to be good at ignoring crying babies—especially ones we are related to. It provokes us in a very deep place, and that’s a good thing.
But, as they get older, you’ll have to learn how to manage this. Because it’s inevitable that your children will be upset, even cry, throughout their lives. You son will fall and hurt himself. Your daughter will be angry that her toy broke. They’ll be sad. They’ll get dumped. They’ll be heartbroken. They’ll get fired and they will fail.
As a father, you have to understand this critical lesson: Tears are not indictments. They are facts. They are not problems for you to solve, or charges for you to defend yourself against. They are pronouncements. What your kids need is for you to listen to them. To hear what they are saying. No more. No less.
They don’t need a lecture. They don’t need you to tell them how they can avoid this next time. They definitely don’t need to be told how this is not a big deal...or conversely, how this is a huge deal and totally their fault. They just need you. They need dad. They need dad to understand.
Got it? By the way...this advice should apply to your marriage or relationships too.
The Daily Dad