Ep 384 "Intention" instead of "in tension" with Billy and Melissa Hokacker

Zach sits down with Billy and Melissa Hofacker, parents of five, homeschoolers, entrepreneurs, and deeply intentional partners. They share how their relationship evolved from survival mode to something they both now call a “ten.”

Through structured connection points like weekly date nights and monthly marriage meetings, the Hofackers have built a resilient, emotionally intelligent partnership. Melissa opens up about postpartum struggles and therapy breakthroughs, while Billy shares how a health scare became a wake-up call for spiritual and emotional growth. From their faith journey to Jiu Jitsu metaphors, the Hofackers offer a practical and heartfelt look at what it takes to grow together over decades, not days.

Key Takeaways

• “Ten” doesn’t mean perfect; it means committed: Even with five young kids and busy schedules, Billy and Melissa see their marriage as a ten because of the consistent work and shared mindset they bring to it.

• Systems build connection: Weekly date nights, monthly family and marriage meetings, and Sunday listening sessions help them stay aligned and emotionally available.

• Initiating connection is a skill: Melissa learned to lead with vulnerability instead of waiting for Billy to go first, transforming the emotional tone of their marriage.

• Transformation starts within: Billy’s health scare sparked personal growth that made him a more emotionally present husband and father.

• Faith goes deeper when life gets harder: Their spiritual path moved beyond habits and routines into intimate, soul-stretching territory, especially in moments of crisis.

• Jiu Jitsu shaped Billy’s identity: He credits the discipline, humility, and emotional control he learned on the mat with strengthening his role in the marriage.

Guest Info

Billy Hofacker
Entrepreneur, host of the Your Fitness Money Coach podcast, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, Billy helps service-based business owners grow profitably through yourfitnessmoneycoach.com. His blend of structure, discipline, and humor brings strength to both his work and his marriage.

Melissa Hofacker
Homeschooling mom of five and Billy’s partner in transformation, Melissa brings spiritual depth, emotional intelligence, and candid reflection. Raised in a pastor’s home, she’s forged a personal path of healing and connection grounded in faith and honesty.

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