Start with Small Steps 221 - Don't Let Anyone Push Your Buttons
221 - Don't Let Anyone Push Your Buttons
In this episode, I share one of the most powerful lessons I ever learned—from a book I discovered as a child. Wayne Dyer’s Your Erroneous Zones completely changed how I saw emotions, reactions, and the way people try to manipulate us. This book helped me navigate a tough home life, stand up to bullies, and, most importantly, stop letting others control how I felt.
I explore the emotional traps that keep people stuck—anger, worry, guilt, insecurity, and perfectionism—and how to break free from them. The biggest takeaway? No one can push your buttons unless you let them. Learning this truth gave me the confidence to take charge of my emotions, and in this episode, I’ll share how you can do the same.
The Book That Changed My Perspective
I was a little kid in a chaotic home when I first saw Wayne Dyer on PBS talking about Your Erroneous Zones. Something about his message clicked. Even as a child, I realized that emotions weren’t just things that happened to me—I had control over them.
The Emotional Traps That Keep Us Stuck
Dyer identifies five major thought patterns that hold us back:
Anger – Letting frustration control you instead of responding calmly.
Worry – Stressing over things that are outside your control.
Guilt – Staying stuck in past mistakes instead of making amends and moving on.
Insecurity – Constant self-doubt that keeps you from taking action.
Perfectionism – Thinking you need to be 100% ready before you start something.
I share how I struggled with these emotions and the small steps I took to overcome them.
The Most Life-Changing Lesson: No One Can Push Your Buttons
This was the biggest revelation: people only have power over you if you let them. I saw firsthand how my father emotionally manipulated my mother. But when I learned to control my reactions, he stopped targeting me. If someone is making you feel bad, it’s because you’re giving them permission to do so.
How to Take Back Control of Your Emotions
If you struggle with reacting emotionally to situations, try these strategies:
-Pause Before Reacting – Take five seconds to ask, Is this worth my peace of mind?
-Reframe the Situation – Most people’s negativity is about them, not you.
-Use Humor – Responding with a joke can take the power away from insults.
-Practice Inner Silence – Sometimes, the best response is no response.
-Find Compassion – Understanding why someone acts a certain way can help you detach.
Takeaways:
-Your emotions belong to you. No one else can make you feel something unless you allow them to.
-Taking action is the antidote to fear. Perfectionism, insecurity, and doubt all shrink when you start moving forward.
-When life squeezes you, what’s inside of you comes out. If you don’t like how you react under pressure, it’s time to work on what’s inside.
-The more you control your emotions, the freer you become. People lose their ability to manipulate you when you stop reacting.
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If you’ve ever felt like someone else has control over your emotions, it’s time to take that power back. By shifting your mindset and making small changes, you can free yourself from anger, worry, guilt, and insecurity.
https://startwithsmallsteps.com/221-take-control-of-your-emotions/
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