Episode 1: Can We Reject The Crushing Time Pressure Of Motherhood?
Nov 15, 2023
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Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks, joins Miranda and Sarah to discuss time pressure in motherhood. They explore being present with children in the age of distractions, the challenges of grief and loss in parenthood, and the power of reading. Recommended books include Harriet the Spy and Mac B Kid Spy.
The importance of accepting the finitude of time and making intentional choices about how to spend it.
The concept of loss in parenting and the importance of accepting and choosing certain losses for a greater sense of fulfillment.
The value of attention and the need to be mindful of what truly demands our focus in parenting, rejecting distractions and productivity culture.
Deep dives
Accepting Finitude: Embracing the Reality of Limited Time
In the podcast episode, the book '4,000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals' by Oliver Berkman is discussed. The book emphasizes the importance of accepting the finitude of time and making intentional choices about how to spend it. It argues against the idea of having it all and highlights the need to prioritize and make sacrifices. The episode explores how this concept applies to parenting and the constant time pressure parents face. The idea of attention being linked to life is also discussed, highlighting the importance of being present and mindful in our interactions. The episode encourages a shift in thinking towards accepting the limitations of time and making choices with intention.
The Value of Loss in Parenting
The podcast episode delves into the concept of loss in parenting and how accepting and choosing certain losses can lead to a greater sense of fulfillment. It challenges the notion of having it all and addresses the need to make intentional choices about what is truly important to us as parents. The discussion highlights the grief and heartache that can come with parenthood, emphasizing the importance of finding peace and understanding in the midst of these losses. The episode suggests that embracing the concept of loss can lead to a sense of freedom and a better understanding of what truly matters.
Attention, Distraction, and the Value of Being Truly Present
The podcast episode explores the topics of attention and distraction in the context of modern parenting. It discusses the idea that true love, dedication to a career or cause, and effective parenting require the ability to focus and hold attention on the object of our devotion. The episode critiques the distractions and productivity culture that pulls us away from being fully present with our children. It encourages the practice of being mindful of what truly demands our attention, and the value of consciously choosing where to direct our focus. The discussion highlights the practical challenges of managing attention as a parent and finding joy in everyday moments of connection.
Acceptance of Limitations and the Freedom of Choice
The podcast episode emphasizes the need to accept the limitations of time and make intentional choices about how to spend it. It challenges the societal pressure to do it all and highlights the freedom that comes from accepting finitude. The episode discusses the idea of choosing what is truly important and making peace with the loss that comes from prioritizing certain aspects of life over others. It encourages a shift in mindset towards understanding that we cannot have it all and that there will always be trade-offs. The discussion empowers listeners to take control of their time and make choices that align with their values and priorities.
Parenting Culture and Embracing Change
The podcast episode delves into the culture of parenthood and the constant change and loss that comes with it. It highlights the need to find balance and peace in embracing the inevitable changes and evolving roles of parenthood. The episode explores the concept of childhood as an experience that holds value in itself, separate from future outcomes or achievements. It encourages parents to let go of societal expectations and focus on the present experience of parenting, valuing both personal desires and the time spent with their children. The discussion promotes self-reflection and intentional choices that align with individual values and aspirations.
Miranda and Sarah discuss Oliver Burkeman's book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, and their own struggles with attention, loss, and letting go.
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